I fucking hate everything that my kids are going through right now. It's not fair that they are expected to deal with the consequences of adult decisions. They didn't ask for this and yet they're the ones paying the highest price. Emmett was wrapped around my arm for most of the night. I'm not sure if he was having bad dreams but he was clamped on pretty tight. Elliott struggled to even fall asleep but thankfully, seems to have slept. Both boys are so stressed out that they are sick to their stomachs. Emmett wouldn't even get out of bed this morning because he felt so awful. He loves school but came home sick yesterday and ended up not going this morning. Neither did Elliott because he was nauseous. Neither…

One of the more frustrating things about going it alone with my kids is that sleep can get very challenging, even moreso than before. Last night, I went to bed at 9:30 PM, thinking that because I was already so tired, I would fall asleep pretty easily. Unfortunately, I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight because I couldn't shut my brain off. I woke up at 2 AM and laid there, lost in my swirling thoughts until after 4 AM. When I did sleep, it was restless due to nightmares about memories that were once treasured but now deeply hurt upon recollection. Going without sleep is not an option but I'm very hesitant to take anything, even melatonin. Those things tend to hit me pretty hard and I need to…

I mentioned earlier that things were pretty rough here in The Autism Dad household today. The kids were struggling and overwhelmed by everything going on around them. My goto solution in a situation like this is getting the kids out of the house and into nature, at least weather permitting. That's exactly what we did. Mind you, it wasn't easy to get them out the door and we didn't go anywhere fancy, but we didn't need to. Emmett was struggling with his clothes today, specifically his shirts. He was getting very frustrated because nothing felt right against his skin. I told him that his body is probably just stressed out and if he can find a shirt that doesn't bother him too much, getting out of the house and being…

The kids got off to school just fine this morning. Everyone was in a good place and I'm really hoping the both make it through the day. I feel like Emmett is going to be okay but I'm worried about Elliott. So far, I haven't heard anything from the school and that's most likely a positive thing. Gavin and I went walking this morning as well and he actually did better than yesterday. The key seems to be him listening to music while he's walking. That works for a lot of people, not just Gavin. Thus far, it's been a really positive day and I'm hoping it continues.