Still struggling but forcing myself to exercise

Lizze and I have a few hours to ourselves this morning and that almost never happens. Gavin spent the night at his grandparents and the boys are at school. What I want more than anything is to crawl back into bed and sleep off the nausea but that's not in the agenda. Lizze and I are going to go walking shortly. I want to go. I need to go but I feel like shit still. At the same time, I know that I'll feel better as I walk and that's why I'm forcing myself to go. I'm losing weight and getting back into reaching my fitness goals. It's unfortunate that I'm having such a difficult time withdrawaling from Paxil but the more active I am, the better I feel. So,…

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My oldest son with #Autism is really trying my patience

I'm not going to mince words here. Gavin is driving me crazy and there's no end in sight. He's eighteen years old on the outside and about six years old on the inside. This large age gap between his emotional age and his chronological age has always been problematic. As he gets older, it's becoming more obvious and increasingly frustrating. Gavin's a great kid. He loves his family to the best of his ability, always looking to help around the house and he never gives up or complains about his lot in life. I've raised him as my own since he was about fifteen months old and I see him no differently than I do Elliott or Emmett. Unfortunately, it's getting harder and harder to overlook some of the behaviors…

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I’m hoping for a good day all around

The boys got off to school without much trouble. Lizze got their lunches together and I cooked some scrambled eggs. Of course, Elliott was the only one to eat them because Emmett will only eat scrambled eggs is they are pure yellow, without any white showing. That wasn't happening this morning so I will settle for one out of two. Emmett will be finishing up state testing today and his teachers are cooking them a pancake breakfast in their classroom, so he'll be fine. ☺ I've been checking with Elliott after school each day (which I've always done) to find out how things are going for him. So far it seems like things are going pretty well. Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean anything because Elliott never tells us about something…

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I’m a little lost right now

It's no secret that I'm struggling a bit right now. If I'm being honest, I'm struggling more than just a bit. I sound like a scratched record but the withdrawal from Paxil is killing me and it's impacting me in many areas of my life, this blog being one of them. Once upon a time, I had a direction and was moving in a somewhat linear fashion. Lately, most of what you will read here are random thoughts and experiences because that's just where I'm at. I know that makes it harder to follow and I understand that but my life isn't easy to live either. I'm really trying to make this user friendly and as helpful as to my families as possible. I ask that you remain patient with…

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How U-Laces help my family and can probably help yours as well

I love connecting people with the technology that can improve their lives. When you're a special needs parent, sometimes the simplest life hack can make all the difference in the world. One example of this in my house, is U-Lace. I've worked with, written about and did a detailed review of U-Lace before. You can check out the YouTube video, as well as the gallery from that review below. https://youtu.be/vfbX5UnGvSw Click the image to view the gallery [foogallery id="67595"] Seeing as it's Autism Awareness month, I wanted to circle back and share how U-Lace has benefited my Autism family because they may just benefit yours as well. ☺ Let's start off by explaining what U-Laces are and how they can benefit a child with Autism. If you check out their…

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It’s simply exhausting

The boys spent the night at Lizze's parents house last night. That left us with only Gavin in to worry about for a little while. In truth, only Gavin to worry about is a bit misleading. Gavin is an amazing kid/adult and we love him to the ends of the Earth and back but he is incredibly stressful to live with. We have to keep a closer eye on him than we do the other boys because Gavin lacks the capacity to self-regulate and completely lacks commonsense. I don't mean these in a disrespectful or degrading way either. He just requires a tremendous amount of time, energy and patience. It's exhausting. That said, we had a few hiccups last night but they weren't anything that pushed me over the edge.…

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Confessions of an #Autism Dad: I’m emotionally struggling tonight

I've been trying to write all day and I just can string my thoughts together in a way that makes sense outside of my own head. In the spirit of Autism Awareness month and in an attempt to help you better understand what at least this Autism Dad is struggling with, here's what I'm feeling tonight. I'm exhausted. I'm overwhelmed. I'm beyond stressed out. I'm totally emotionally drained. I'm completely physically drained. I'm finding myself in a dark place tonight. I'm feeling seriously demoralized and beaten down. I'm broken hearted for reasons that are too many to explain. I'm conflicted because I know tomorrow's a new day but it seems far away. I'm doing the best I can but I can't fix the many things in our lives that need…

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When your goal is to simply survive the day

I'm not having a good day and it's only 8:30 AM. I'm still not feeling well and I've got a busy day ahead of me. I had to deal with a teacher who clearly is teaching the wrong demographic of children and has no business working with special needs kids. I would address the problem directly with the teacher in question but unfortunately, there ends up being blowback for E while he's in class, in the form of public shaming. E and I met with the principal to let him know what's been going on inside the classroom. He was not happy to hear this and will be dealing with it accordingly. We are not the first to approach him about this situation. Elliott has state testing today and Emmett…

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