Schizoaffective Archives - Page 160 of 315

Why can’t we catch a break?

I'm having a really hard time falling asleep after what I shared in the previous post. I'm laying in bed, just getting more and more pissed off because I can't change our course right now. We can't move and I'm feeling like a complete failure as a result. As I'm laying there getting more and more frustrated because I can't sleep, I heard loud noises coming for our attic. I've been talking about trying to get rid of squirrels in our attic for the last couple of weeks. We've even placed a live trap up there but haven't heard anything since the trap was placed. Of course, tonight would be the night that the noises returned. The noise was right above our room and it was really loud. I brought…

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July 28, 2018

My thoughts

Someone tried to smash in our window tonight

I'm trying to remain positive tonight but it's not working out. I've mentioned over the years how badly we need to move. Our neighborhood is not safe and as time goes on, things get worse. It seems like there are periods of calm, followed by an increase in either violence or crime. The violence has been bad. We've been involved in a drive by shooting, where I was nearly rundown by the gunmen fleeing the scene and they threw their loaded guns out the windows of their car at my family as we were walking into the house. Shortly after that, a young male had his entire belly split open during an attempted robbery and he collapsed in front of my house. I held his organs in place with my…

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July 28, 2018

Fit4Autism / My thoughts / Self-Care

I’m going to practice some self-care and you should as well

I've been really stressed out lately and the last few times I went walking, I had the kids with me. Walking with the kids is not the same as walking without the kids. I need the time to myself in order to decompress and deal with my stress. I'm leaving to go walking in a little bit and I'll be doing it alone. It's gonna be just me and my earbuds. ☺ Look, folks, self-care is not easy, especially when your kids have so many demanding needs but it's incredibly important that we make it happen. Self-care isn't always the same thing for everyone. For me, it's writing, walking, running, hiking, eating better and trying to get more sleep. Those are my big self-care activities and they are hugely beneficial…

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July 27, 2018

Bipolar Disorder / Elliott / My thoughts

It looks like he’s going to be diagnosed with #Bipolar disorder

Lizze and I have begun accepting the reality of something we wish we wouldn't have to. That reality is the likelihood that Elliott will be diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Elliott had some testing done eariler in the week at his physiologist appointment and it came back with a high likelihood of Bipolar disorder. That in combination with patterns of behavior over a very long period of time, and it looks like we may have to begin accepting the reality that Elliott has Bipolar Disorder. When I say accept the reality, I'm simply mean that in the sense that we don't want this for him. The fact that he likely has Bipolar disorder doesn't change him in our eyes at all. It does explain many of the behavioral challenges we face,…

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July 27, 2018

Gavin / My thoughts / Schizophrenia

The big reason I’m really frustrated with Gavin right now

I'm going to make this quick because I need to go to bed. The big reason I'm really frustrated with Gavin right now is very simple but also extremely complicated, all at the same time. Ever since Gavin began going on missions as a result of his Schizophrenic hallucinations, there have only been a couple rules that really matter. The first rule is that his missions only take place on the other side of the portal. The portal is what he refers to his bedroom door as. This keeps them mostly contained to his bedroom and limits the chances of them spilling out everywhere else. This has been mostly successful at both keeping him physically safe and shielding the boys from his missions. The second rule was that he never…

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July 27, 2018

My thoughts

I can’t let this drag me down too far

Another day, another challenge. I'm having sort of a rough start to the day. Nothing bad has happened but I woke up feeling overwhelmed by anything in my life. It's a terrible way to start the day because I know things are going to begin piling up and I'm already buried. Anything that gets thrown on the pile is only going to make things worse. There are days where the weight of everything feels so much heavier than it does on others. On any given day, I have to make decisions about how to spend my limited pool of resources. Sometimes everything just seems to click into place but other times it's like trying to cram a square peg into a round hole. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm worn out.…

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July 26, 2018

Autism Parenting Insight / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Do I have less patience now?

Gavin had therapy tonight and one of the things that I mentioned to the therapist is that I just don't have patience for Gavin anymore. We discussed that briefly before something occurred to me. Perhaps this is a philosophical question but it's something I think Special Needs parents should keep in mind as their kids get older and perhaps more challenging. First of all, let's be crystal clear. I'm as far from perfect as any one person can be. I'm human and I have very human limits. That being said, the people who know me in real life, have been saying forever that I have the patience of a Saint, especially when it comes to Gavin. In all fairness to myself, I did have a seemingly endless supply of patience.…

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July 26, 2018

Family Fun / My thoughts

Hopefully we can pull this off today

I don't know what we're doing today for sure but Lizze wants to go walking. That's a very good sign for her because she's normally in so much pain that walking isn't in the cards. The boys have requested that we go all the way out to Quail Hallow but I don't know if Lizze will be up for that. If she's game, I'm happy to make the drive. ☺ Anything we do will be after Gavin's therapy session this afternoon. It's important to me that we do these kinds of things and if we can make it happen today, I look forward to spending the time with my family.

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July 25, 2018