Read more about the article I crawled out of bed after 3 hours of sleep
My thoughts

I crawled out of bed after 3 hours of sleep

After about three hours or so of restless sleep, I crawled out of bed and hit the track. I missed yesterday, and if I wanted to get this done, it had to be early because it's going to be another unbearably hot and humid day. I got home from walking and picked up Gavin because he needs his weekly blood work done. We've been having a hell of a time getting his Clozapine refilled cause the fucking lab never sends the results like they are supposed to. Everything keeps getting pushed back as a result, and it's really frustrating. Gavin has enough medication to get through the weekend, so they have three days to get this right. 😡 Anyway, I'm going to take it easy today and focus on getting…

0 Comments
July 5, 2019
Read more about the article The house shook and the windows rattled
My thoughts

The house shook and the windows rattled

I'm going to make this quick because we're currently binging Stranger Things 3 and it's very late. We made the best of our day today and ended up having our bonfire. It went well, and the kids had a great evening. The neighborhood was pretty quiet this afternoon, and we felt it was safe enough to spend some time outside. 😀 One of the goals was to burn through some of the cut up tree that was left from the storm damage last year. We cooked hotdogs, sausage, and smores before we retreated into the air conditioning. It was crazy hot and insanely humid. The kids went to bed on time, but that didn't last long because the same idiots who blew out my neighbors windows last year with their…

0 Comments
July 5, 2019
Read more about the article I’m determined not let #depression control my life
My thoughts

I’m determined not let #depression control my life

I'm holding it together pretty well today. I'm currently sleep deprived, exhausted, depressed, overwhelmed, and anxious, but I'm holding my own. 😊 I think that I need to keep myself busy and avoid dead time. When I have unoccupied time on my hands, my thoughts can wander, and I begin to focus on the things that are causing me the most stress. Most of these things are well outside of my control, so fretting about them serves no purpose. I've already been to the grocery store today and spent more than I wanted to, but we got to eat. The rest of the afternoon will be relatively quiet, and I'm going to try and knock out two projects that I need to finish up. I know I'll feel much better…

1 Comment
July 4, 2019
Read more about the article Making the best of today
My thoughts

Making the best of today

I have such a hard time sleeping at night lately. My brain is running continually trying to solve the problems in my life, and I can't seem to shut down. That's definitely a problem, but it's workable and could worse. I was too tired to go walking this morning, and while it's important to push myself, it's also important I don't push myself too far. Today I'm going to focus on grocery shopping and finishing up two projects that should really be done by today. I'm so far behind on this stuff, and I need to get out from underneath the pile-up. The plan for today is to hit the grocery store, spend as little as possible to get everything we need, and assuming the weather holds out, light a…

0 Comments
July 4, 2019
Read more about the article Do you know what it means to be in survival mode?
Autism Parenting Insight / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Do you know what it means to be in survival mode?

I've not spoken about this in a while because I have been so caught up in the struggle; it hadn't occurred to me. During therapy tonight with the kids, our therapist mentioned that I'm in survival mode. I'm very familiar with survival mode but hadn't actually thought about it in a long time. I think many fulltime caregivers experience survival mode, but it can happen to anyone. Survival mode is a state in which a persons functionality is temporarily but significantly reduced to preserve what little physical and emotional resources they have left. This is not to be confused with laziness because it's not at all the same thing. Someone enters survival mode when they are physically and emotionally bankrupt. This is common for caregivers and parents of special needs…

3 Comments
July 3, 2019
Read more about the article I dropped a plate last night
My thoughts

I dropped a plate last night

I was supposed to do an interview or a pre-interview interview for a show I was invited on. Yesterday was supposed to be very informal and just a meet and greet kinda thing. I had it planned out that I would jump into the Google Hangout while I was helping my Mom after her knee surgery. The interview came and went without me joining because I forgot about it. It's totally my fault, and I never do that. I always do my best to make myself available when someone wants to talk to me. I figure it's nice to connect with new people, learn about their story, support their efforts, and help raise awareness for mine. I've apologized, and if you're reading this, I truly am sorry that I missed…

0 Comments
July 3, 2019