This is the most deeply personal thing I’ve ever written

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. We're only ever guaranteed right now, in this moment. So often these moments get wasted. I'm guilty of doing that myself, far more often than I'd like to admit. I was thinking about this today and it hit me pretty hard. As humans, we tend to assume that we can say or do what needs said or done, tomorrow. The truth is, tomorrow is never guaranteed and there's no such thing as the perfect time. This is an older picture but it was captured while I was experiencing one of these moments. I've found that it's often easier to avoid or put off dealing with things, than it is to face them in the moment. I'm guilty of that myself. For some reason, I've been talking…

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My Moment of Clarity

I woke up this morning, super early, filled with clarity, and laser focused. The laser focused part might be a bit of an exaggeration but I wish I was laser focused. The clarity part is very true, however. Life is full of twists and turns, detours and delays, setbacks and forward progress, joys and heartaches, successes and failures. I have found that moments of pain can lead to a certain clarity that I wouldn't have gained otherwise. Sure, it's messed up that I can't seem to find that same clarity elsewhere but it's still positive, right? I'm going to keep being me. I'm going to keep bettering myself. I'm going to keep moving my kids forward. I'm going to keep growing my business. I'm going to keep believing in myself.…

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I’m starting to write a new chapter in the book of my life

I've haven't written anything super meaningful in a long time. The truth is that a I've written so much over the years that I've sorta burned out. There's something like 12,500 articles on this blog and I've written 99% of them. The rest is guest or sponsored content. I mean, gotta pay the bills right? I've got so many new followers that I've been able to get away with not putting a great deal of new content out because people are reading the older stuff for the first time and it helps them. It's not like there's a shortage of things to read. It's sorta cheating I suppose but I've been spread pretty thin and found writing a bit overwhelming. That's one of the reasons I started the podcast. It…

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Why I’m increasing my antidepressant today

I gave myself one week to grieve the loss of my marriage and that week was officially over. While I'm not hitting the ground running, at least as quickly as I was hoping, I am moving forward. In a little while, I have an appointment with my PCP over the phone, due to COVID. I've made the decision to talk to my doctor about increasing my antidepressant. The reason behind this is that I recognize that everything has taken a toll on me and while I'm not defeated, I'm also not in total control either. Depression is influencing me a bit more than I'm comfortable with right now, and frankly, it has been. The last couple of years have been difficult and I've been dealing with a lot. COVID has…

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I gave myself 1 week to grieve

As you know by now, I finalized my divorce about a week ago. If you been following for any length of time, you know that this was an emotionally complicated experience for me. This wasn't something I wanted and I didn't understand what happened. Fast forward a year and a half, and I've accepted that my marriage was ending. I'm not happy about it but I do understand it's for the best. As I've said before, the person I married doesn't exist anymore. It's not meant to be an insult to her either. People change and she totally acknowledges that. One of the complicated things for me is coming to grips with this. It's been challenging for me at times and dealing with depression doesn't help. My whole point is…

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I want to talk to you about my #depression

It has occurred to me that I haven't talked about my depression much lately. I talk about to people who reach out offline quite a bit and I sometimes forget to do that here as well. One of the reasons this occurred to me is because I noticed today that I'm struggling a little more than I have been in regards to managing my depression. I think everyone deals with life differently and depression hits people in different ways as well. We're all different and that's okay. For me personally, I know depression is once again gaining a foothold in my life when I begin worrying about dying. It's not easy for me to admit that because there's only a few people in my life that are aware of this…

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A long overdue, deeply personal update

It's been a little while since I've really talked about how I'm doing on a personal level. There's not really a reason for that I'm just a bit overwhelmed and when this happens, it's not as easy for me to write. That said, it's important that I do anyway because it's incredibly therapeutic for me to do so. For the most part, I think I'm doing pretty well. Could I be doing better? Of course I could. Could I be doing worse? You betcha.. I'm trying to manage a lot right now and it's not easy. The balance between work and family is quite challenging, especially when the kids are learning from home. I need to be working but they need guidance and support because remote learning is a very…

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It’s been a heartbreaking day

Remote learning is like a fucking emotional roller-coaster for everyone involved, but especially for our kiddos on the autism spectrum. We have had our ups and downs but today was a particularly challenging. I stopped working today, which is hugely problematic, in order to help Emmett navigate his schoolwork. For some reason, he was completely overwhelmed by the tasks on the screen before him. There's a million reasons he's overwhelmed but I don't know what pushed him over the edge today. How many of you out there have seen similar with your own kids lately? It's currently 3pm and I've been trying to help him work through his anxiety, frustration and whatever else he's feeling that I can't see on the surface, all day now. Remote learning is a necessary…

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