Meltdowns Archives - Page 24 of 299

Welcome to the f*cking brink of insanity

I'm getting very close to the end of my rope today and teetering on the brink of insanity. My kids are amazing and I love the completely. They are, however, struggling a great deal and it's impacting every aspect of our lives. Elliott has been in a horrible mood, all day long. He's being mean to his brother and refusing to cooperate at every turn. I happen to know that he's very angry, scared, confused and heartbroken. I also know that he's desperately trying to regain some control in his life and is taking it to an extreme. I get it and I'm not angry but this isn't productive and we need to find better ways of managing our pain. Emmett had a massive emotional breakdown tonight. He was trying…

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February 3, 2020

Planning this trip is stressful

The boys and I are getting ready to go on our little working vacation and I beginning to stress out a little bit. Planning this whole thing out is a bit challenging because and doing it completely on my own is even moreso. I'm hoping that our experience will help others learn more about the unique challenges families like mine face. With 3 Special Needs kids, there are literally a million things that could go wrong and I have to be prepared for anything. I've tried to think about the most likely scenarios but I feel like I'm forgetting as much as I'm remembering. I need to Zen the heck out before I lose my mind. Maybe I should spend some time checking out different ways of viewing life in…

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February 3, 2020

Emmett John / My thoughts

This kids inspires me every single day

A rough night lead to a challenging morning but all was not lost. Emmett had nightmares all night long. They were particularly cruel and unrelenting this time. To make matters worse, he woke up around 5:30 AM with a nose bleed. By the time the alarm went off, he was pretty much on the verge of a panic attack. He was shaking, nauseous and exhausted. He was already convinced that he was not going to be able to manage school today. We were supposed to bump things up to 2 hours a day this week and he was freaking out. The poor kid was completely over his limit and it wasn't looking like a particularly good start to the week, even by Monday's standards. Rather than give up, I encouraged…

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February 3, 2020

My thoughts

I’m trying to reestablish our daily routine

I'm working very hard to get us into a routine again. Part of that is getting everyone more involved in the day to day responsibilities around the house. Gavin is doing awesome in this category. As Elliott and Emmett get older, they need to take on more responsibility. One recent example of this was dealing with the newly bought groceries. We hit the grocery store on Sunday afternoon and picked up at least some of what we needed. The kids we fresh off a visit and that made things a bit more challenging but we got it done. When we got home, Gavin bought the groceries into the house while the rest of us cleaned out the fridge and put everything away. Everyone played a role. Emmett cleaned out the…

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February 3, 2020

Emmett really wants to return here while we’re in Charlotte

Our trip is getting closer and closer. I'm currently in the scramble to get everything done phase of the planning. We have a few appointments we need to get to before leaving and I just remembered I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning because I saw an ad that said best dentist for veneers. It was totally random but it reminded me that I have to be at the dentist tomorrow. It's actually in my calender but for whatever reason, I missed it. At least I didn't miss the appointment. One of the things I'm currently working on is a few places to stop for food along the way. I'd rather not live on fast food. There are a few places of interest, and I mentioned one of the the…

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February 3, 2020

Emmett John / My thoughts

Have I said how proud of him I am?

This week marks another step towards getting Emmett back to school full time. As of bedtime, he was maintaining a positive outlook and I'm so proud of him for that. The plan for this week is to stay at school for 2 - 2.5 hours before I come pick him up. I think he's going to do great. His attitude is "I don't feel bad about going and I don't feel super excited either, but I think I can do it." Have I said I'm proud of him yet? ☺

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February 3, 2020

I want to make our home more comfortable

One of the things on my agenda for life after the trip is reclaiming the house and making better use of it. We desperately need to move but that's not in the cards at the moment. The biggest thing we need to do is get the office put back together. The challenging part of that is trying to locate a leak that we have not been able to find for many years. Even after having the entire roof replaced, it still leaks. I'm really frustrated because I've repaired the ceiling quite a few times and a few years later, it leaks again. I need to find a good contractor whose adept at troubleshooting and repairing problem leaks. They will need to be bonded through some place like BondsExpress.com. I'm about…

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February 2, 2020

My thoughts / New Beginnings

It’s so f*cking heartbreaking

The boys came home around noon today and Elliott was in a mood from the moment he walked in the door. Visits are a mixed bag for any kid but when you factor in the complexity that Autism brings to the party, it's even more so. A mixed reaction to a visit with his mom doesn't necessarily reflect a bad visit. It's just a very difficult thing emotionally, to navigate and transition struggles are expected. That being said, he did eventually sit down and talk with me after he had a pretty big emotional outburst. Elliott doesn't like talking about his feelings and I can understand that, but we have to know what's going on in order to better help him. It's absolutely a work in progress but progress is…

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February 2, 2020