We have to make sure everything is okay

Emmett had a great morning and it currently at school. Elliott is still home sick and is currently sitting next to me at the pediatrician's office, waiting to be scene. I don't know what's going on with him but we just want to make sure everything is okay. I'm absolutely exhausted and ready to crash.

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Clozapine Crisis: Here’s what happened today

We have a plan of attack for how to deal with Gavin's current mental and physical health problems, at least temporarily. The reason I say temporarily is because the particular plan of attack is only until we can finally get into Hematology at Akron Children's Hospital. Let me start with how the appointment with Dr. Reynolds went. It's clear that Gavin's having serious problems and it's at least partially related to the Clozapine. Let me be more specific. The issues with Gavin's blood are at the very leastade worse by the Clozapine, if not completely caused by the Clozapine. At the same time, the overall cognitive and neuro-muscular decline are most likely a result of Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. In other words, it's not related to the Clozapine. I mentioned we…

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I told Emmett how proud of him I was

Update: This was supposed to publish a couple days ago. Not sure what happened but better late than never. ☺ It's no secret that I'm always proud of my kids, because I don't hide it very well, and I make it a point to tell them. It's important to me they know that no matter what, I love, support and am proud of them. Today was one of those days where I wanted to make sure That Emmett knew how proud of him I was. This morning was a nightmare, I'm not going to sugar coat it. Emmett had an hour long, massive meltdown over his crocs feeling funny. It's true he was late to school and that our day got off on the wrong foot as a result. Having…

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The moment of truth and I feel sick to my stomach

Lizze is home sick with Elliott, who's still sick. Gavin and I are in the waiting room at Dr. Reynolds office. I'm so nervous about this appointment because I know what we're looking at and neither option is good. Gavin's chillin on the couch playing his tablet as he's waiting and I'm trying not to puke all over the floor. My anxiety is so high over this that I'm sick to my stomach. I want so badly for this to be over with and resolved. Gavin deserves to be safe, happy and healthy.

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Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers

The doctors office called this morning with Gavin's lab results and they were correct the first time. All his numbers are down and it's not looking good. Please keep Gavin in your thoughts and prayers. Maybe keep Lizze and I in there as well because we have some very difficult decisions to make this afternoon. Trying to stay positive.

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Not knowing is killing me

It's been the longest day ever. I've been waiting for the phone call to deliver the news about Gavin's lab results but that call never came. Unfortunately, this isn't one of those no news is good kinda things. This is one of those the lab didn't fax the results or the doctor just didn't call kinda things. We'll know this afternoon for sure but the wait is killing me. I need to know what's going on with Gavin and not knowing is killing me.

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I age 5 years everytime this happens

I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor in regards to Gavin's lab results. The only way I can explain how excruciating this wait is for would be to relate it to a young child on Christmas Eve. Maybe that's a bad example. It's not the excitement but rather the extreme anxiety of knowing it's coming but having to wait. I swear to God I age five years each time something like this happens. 🙁 I'm trying to remain positive because it could very well be temporary good news. I just have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I can't seem to shake it.

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I’m worried about Gavin and scared to get the results

One of the things I hate most in life is waiting. We all have to wait for things but waiting for medical test results, especially when it's serious and in regards to your child. I've said this a million times over the years but all we can do now is hurry up and wait. Gavin's labs should be done this afternoon and we'll likely hear from the doctor mid-afternoon. All I want to hear is that his numbers are climbing back up and everything is going to be okay. Unfortunately, even if that's the case, we still don't know why this keeps happening. I'm exhausted, stressed out, worried beyond belief and overwhelmed by everything. It's truly awful when all you can do is hurry up wait.

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