Here’s why #depression is hitting me so hard right now

Last night I shared a tweet and I wanted to to further explain. First of all, I truly appreciate the love and support. It means a lot. While I didn't sleep well last night because Emmett didn't sleep well, today is a new day and I'm in a better place. I'm just gonna put this out there. #Depression f*cking sucks.. 😔— Rob Gorski (@theautismdad) November 21, 2019 There's a great deal going on in my life that has me completely overwhelmed. These things are fueling my depression and kicking it into overdrive. It's been a rough year and it's weighing heavy on me. In January I lost my grandfather, in June I lost my grandmother and in August my wife left me to raise our kids alone. I've been shattered…

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Divorce is so hard on #Autistic kids and it’s heartbreaking

Before anyone feels the need to say it, I know that divorce is tough for all kids. This is a blog about Autism and so I'm focusing on that aspect, as it's what I'm currently experiencing. I'm not trying to take away from anyone else. We've had a slight change of plans today. Normally, the kids get picked up from school by their mom and grandma. On some Wednesdays, she goes with them to therapy and other Wednesdays they have dinner together and hang out at their grandparents house. Elliott is struggling with everything surrounding her leaving and their relationship as it stands now. It's been damaged. How damaged remains to be seen but it's effecting every aspect of his life. He's miserable, angry, scared and heartbroken. My goal is…

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It’s been a pretty good morning

The boys got to school on time and I went walking with Gavin and my Mom. It's been a pretty good morning. I'm sucked into the impeachment hearings and I'm going to try and multi-task. I have to get the podcast worked on and get some writing done as well. I'm hoping to continue having a good day because I could really use the win.

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Guess what happens when my #Autistic kids actually sleep at night?

The boys slept last night and that's pretty incredible. As a result, I managed to get a 8.5 hours of sleep and I'm feeling pretty okay this morning. I was up and moving before 7am and so was everyone else. The kids are supposed to have a visit this afternoon but their mom is sick, so that looks to not be happening. We hope she feels better soon. I need to finish mixing this week's podcast episode and get the kids to therapy at 5pm. That's about it. I'll of course go walking and maintain my daily routine as much as possible because it keeps me sane. The bar is set pretty low today because I want to have reasonable expectations of myself today. I've been struggling a bit more…

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Today DID NOT go well but it could’ve been worse

It's been an incredibly frustrating day for me. The kids were sick which means I couldn't go walking or run the numerous errands that I need to get done. It meant that a large part of what I had planned on getting done, simply didn't happen. As of bedtime, the kids are feeling a better. Unfortunately, Emmett is back to not being able to sleep in his own bed. He was doing really well for the last couple of weeks. He would still wake up on occasion and race into my room but he was falling asleep in his bed. He's usually pretty upset when he wakes up because he had a nightmare. He curls up next to me, shaking and it takes time to calm him down enough that…

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The kids are sick again

It's been a l-o-n-g night. The boys didn't sleep much and therefore, neither did I. Elliott has started with an upper respiratory thing with is complicated by his asthma. Interesting fact. Elliott was born premature, suffer bilateral pneumothorax and was diagnosed with premature lung disease. He spent around 10 days in the NICU and we were told that the lung disease would have no impact on him as he got older. Turns out, at least in Elliott's case, that's not true. His allergist/immunologist said that it's probably why his more prone to upper airway infections. Elliott will go through periods of time where he just can't seem to shake there's upper airway infections. They last forever and seem to keep coming back. This is especially true when he's under a…

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I’m trying very hard to keep my kids distracted

I've gotten out the habit of writing again. I'm struggling a bit but I'm surviving and determined to get righted. Yesterday the boys had a pleasant visit with their mom and grandparents. They were only gone for a few hours but the quality of those hours is what matters. I used the time to go walking and OMG did that feel good. Elliott is still struggling with many things related to the divorce and it's really hard to see him going through this. I'm powerless to help with some of this stuff because it's outside of what I have control over. It's impacting many aspects of his life and even his teachers are very concerned. That weighs heavy on me and it's hard to focus on much else when your…

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