Gavin’s behavioral problems will ultimately be the end of us getting a night off

Lizze and I are knee deep in the first break we've had in about a month. Gavin and the boys are at their grandparents for the night. What typically happens is that these types of visits are are broken up. The boys (Elliott and Emmett) will go and Gavin stays home. Gavin will go by himself the next time, while the boys stay home. The reason for that is because of problems that tend to arise as a result of Gavin and the boys not getting along. I've talked about this before. Gavin will try to parent the boys and/dictate what they do while they're visiting. The boys don't like it and it just creates problems. Frankly, we see this at home all the time and it's definitely not a…

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#Autism parenting can feel so defeating for so many different reasons

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed today. I know that sorta seems like the current trend but the truth is the truth and whether it's pleasant or not is irrelevant. I wish I could pinpoint the cause of these feelings but there's simply too much going on that's creating undo stress, to know up form down. Things like depression, financial problems, physical/emotional health struggles and even safety issues where we live, all play a roll. The day didn't get off on a good foot. While the boys are doing a bit better as the day goes on, they won't make it to school. Gavin is being Gavin this morning and while I'd never want him to be anyone other than himself, his constant need to narrate he life is driving me crazy.…

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Nose bleeds and tummy aches

It's gonna be a long trick or treat weekend. Both boys are home from school but for different reasons. Elliott went to bed not feeling well and woke up not feeling any better. His stomach is upset.be his nose is really dry and that's what behind this. Once we get this under control, I probably get him a saline nose spray. Emmett on the other hand is feeling okay but is getting nose bleeds and they take awhile to get them to stop. This actually first happened a couple of days ago and it started again this morning. Emmett woke me up about 6 AM, so I could help him. He's not doing anything to cause them. They just sorta happen. I'm thinking maybe his nose is really dry and…

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I was completely overwhelmed tonight and didn’t handle it well

Good days and bad days are relative, especially when you're an Autism parent. A good day might be only having to live through a few meltdowns and a bad day might be absolutely catastrophic. There are of course, plenty of days that fall somewhere in-between. Today for me was mixed bag. Lizze was down for most of the day, which sucks for a million reasons, not the least of which is the fact that she's truly miserable. Sometimes the struggle is physical and sometimes it's emotional in nature. Other times it's a combination of both. Today was a combination of both and life just wasn't fair to her. Anyway, after school today, I picked the boys up and took them to my parents house to carve pumpkins. It's become a…

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Why it’s been an emotionally heavy day

Last night we went to family night at the kids school. It was okay. The kids had fun and that's all that really matters. These things are always crowed, loud and in the middle of the goddamn school week. I get why they do that but it also means that the kids get all worked up, struggle to go to sleep and have a hard time going to school the next day. Anyway, this was a science night and they did all kinds of cool little experiments. The boys loved it. Some of the experiments totally blew Gavin's mind. It was like magic to him, which is sorta sad for me but at the same time, I'm happy that he enjoyed himself. Lizze came with us and that was not…

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They don’t understand how he’s the oldest and yet acts like he isn’t

The boys and I had a movie night after therapy and a quick trip to the park. We decided on The Incredibles II because we loved the movie in the theater and frankly, it's the only thing everyone could agree on. It was even better the second time around but this time, the boys were getting frustrated because Gavin kept talking during the movie. It's not that he was just talking, he was talking smack to the bad guys in the movie. It was kinda weird. He doesn't mean to be annoying or frustrating but he can definitely be both sometimes. Trying to get the boys to understand what's going on with Gavin has proven difficult. They understand the basic concept that Gavin has many challenges but they don't get…

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I’m so tired

The boys and I went to therapy tonight. Lizze was not feeling well and has been sleeping. I brought Dr. Pattie up to speed on the boys and we spent some time helping them work through some of the issues they we're having while we were there. It's absolutely exhausting because I'm trying to manage everything and it never stops or even slows down. Lizze struggling with her health and that puts a disproportionate amount of responsibility on my shoulders, which is okay but it takes its toll. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, even though I'm sure it sounds otherwise. The reality is that things are pretty rough. I'm trying to work, help everyone with everything they need, manage the house and the rest of our life.…

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He’s still hearing voices he doesn’t recognize

Despite everything that's currently causing me distress, I feel like I'm actually doing pretty good. All things considered, I'm in a decent mood and that's half the battle sometimes. ☺ Gavin is in a good mood this morning as well. Unfortunately, he's also continuing to struggle at the same time. He's very clearly hearing voices that he doesn't recognize because it seems like every 5 minutes, he's popping his head out of his bedroom and asking if we had just called him. I say it's a voice or voices he doesn't recognize because Gavin always hears voices. Aside from being Autistic, he's also Schizophrenic. He lives in this elaborate world where he's a super hero in charge of a group of superheros. They're always going on missions to save the…

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