I know I keep saying this and I apologize but this is going to be a super quick update. This is in regards to the meeting I had today. You can read the previous posts (beginning here) to see the background on that. Without going into detail, this meeting went so much better than I expected and I'm so unbelievably grateful for that. I felt that I was taken seriously and can't express what that means to me. I never felt judged or like I was an inconvenience to this person I met with either. I walked in feeling like my legs could barely keep me upright. I left feeling like an enormous weight had been lifted of my shoulders. Shortly after getting home, my whole body just began shutting…

I'm getting ready to leave for the most difficult meeting of my life. I feel sick to my stomach, I haven't eaten anything and I only slept for about a half hour last night. You can read what this is all about in the below link. "I'm no longer a child" It's hard to imagine how one person can have such an impact on my life that even 30 years later, the sight of them instantly brings back feelings of being powerless, terrified and ashamed. https://www.theautismdad.com/2018/11/12/im-no-longer-a-child/ I had to take something to keep me from vomiting. This is not going to be easy but it's the right thing to do and the only thing I can live with.

I'm so stressed out that I'm clenching my teeth and now they're sore. I don't do it in my sleep cause I always feel better in the AM. I'm giving up on the rest of the day and heading to bed.