Insomnia Archives - Page 58 of 353

My kids aren’t doing well and one of them couldn’t make it through the school day

I had a busy day planned but unfortunately, it derailed by 9:30 AM. I got the kids to school without much problem. Everyone was fine and I thought - and this is where I went wrong - I thought everything was going to be okay. Gavin and I went walking and I took him for his blood work. While I was waiting for him to come out, I got an email from the school saying that Emmett wasn't feeling well and they'd let me know if he needed to go home. His teachers said he was doing okay for the moment. I called the school and was going to explain that I didn't want him pushed too far because I'm pretty sure this is emotionally based and he's made himself…

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September 9, 2019

My thoughts

It’s only been a month, and the truth is, I hurt

One of the more frustrating things about going it alone with my kids is that sleep can get very challenging, even moreso than before. Last night, I went to bed at 9:30 PM, thinking that because I was already so tired, I would fall asleep pretty easily. Unfortunately, I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight because I couldn't shut my brain off. I woke up at 2 AM and laid there, lost in my swirling thoughts until after 4 AM. When I did sleep, it was restless due to nightmares about memories that were once treasured but now deeply hurt upon recollection. Going without sleep is not an option but I'm very hesitant to take anything, even melatonin. Those things tend to hit me pretty hard and I need to…

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September 9, 2019

Gavin / My thoughts

He cleans up well

Gavin shaves his head and he has for years. He likes it but it also makes hygiene much easier for him as well. I cut Gavin's hair before he went to see his mom and go to the birthday party this past Saturday. All I'm going to say is, he cleans up well, doesn't he.. ☺ ♥

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September 9, 2019

My thoughts

If all goes well, this is what will happen

The plan for this morning, assuming everyone cooperates, is to get the kids to school, go walking, take Gavin for his blood work and fill our five gallon water jugs. That should take Gavin and I until lunchtime. Again, assuming everyone makes it through the day at school, I plan to spend the time while Gavin's sleeping off his meds, getting some writing done. I want to get my Jabra Elite 85h Noise Canceling headphones review done. Jabra has been very patient with me and while they've told me not to worry about it, I want to get it done for me. It's important that I live up to me end. I have review products coming in this week and I need to get caught up. Hopefully, this all goes…

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September 9, 2019

My thoughts

It’s been a heartbreaking weekend but here’s how we turned it around

I mentioned earlier that things were pretty rough here in The Autism Dad household today. The kids were struggling and overwhelmed by everything going on around them. My goto solution in a situation like this is getting the kids out of the house and into nature, at least weather permitting. That's exactly what we did. Mind you, it wasn't easy to get them out the door and we didn't go anywhere fancy, but we didn't need to. Emmett was struggling with his clothes today, specifically his shirts. He was getting very frustrated because nothing felt right against his skin. I told him that his body is probably just stressed out and if he can find a shirt that doesn't bother him too much, getting out of the house and being…

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September 8, 2019

Insights and Education / My thoughts / Visitation

There’s been major fallout today and it’s a lot to handle

It's not uncommon for there to be what I refer to as fallout following any type of stimulating event, in regards to an Autistic child. That stimulating event can be positive or negative, it doesn't matter. An example of what could be viewed as negative stimuli would be something like visiting the dentist. That's stressful for most kids but it's often a sensory nightmare for Autistic kids. On the flip side, positive stimuli could be something like a birthday party or exciting holiday. The point is, it's the stimulus that can create the problem. Fallout is simply what I've dubbed the behavioral issues I tend to see following one such event. In this case, it was a parental visit and birthday party. The visits are a positive thing, as is…

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September 8, 2019

My thoughts

Words of encouragement

Let me begin by saying thank you for all the words of encouragement. I spent some time this morning, reading over at least some of the messages. I really really appreciate the support. Yesterday was a difficult day for me and I became saturated with stress and anxiety. It wasn't just one thing that lead to this. It was a combination of everything and it simply became too heavy for me to gracefully carry. That said, I finally fell asleep around midnight, but I had one fucked up dream after another. They all had to do with fishing, which was really weird. Anyway, despite the bad dreams, I woke up this morning feeling much better than I did when I went to bed. That's definitely a positive thing. As for…

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September 8, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings / Visitation

I had a f*cking terrible, heartbreaking afternoon

I'm going be very honest with you tonight, I'm not having the best of days. I know that I'm going to have days where I'm doing okay and others where I'm barely able to breathe. Today is one of those days where I'm barely able to breathe. If I told you that I was feeling overwhelmed by everything, that would be akin to saying the Grand Canyon is just a ditch. It's an understatement of magnanimous proportions. Most of the time I don't think about my marriage imploding, how much responsibility I have, or how lonely this all feels. Most of the time I try to focus on the positive and continue working to forge a new path forward. Other times, however, I feel like I'm being buried alive and…

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September 7, 2019