I wanted to share something I thought was pretty cool. I get that it's a total coincidence but at the same time, I found it comforting and sorta symbolic. As I was leaving the therapist last night, I had just finished revisiting one of the most painful moments of my life. It involved a call I was on during my time as a medic. As a relatively seasoned or experienced medic, I saw lots of things that most people can only imagine. I had to sorta become callus to death in order to protect myself. It was the calls involving children, especially in horrific circumstances that my brain simply couldn't process and my heart couldn't bare. Anyway, that topic was one of the things that came up last night. I…

I've never been a huge fan of talking to some about my problems. It's not because I'm too uncomfortable do it, it's more that I tend to work through these things on my own. It's just sorta the way my brain works. Having said that, there are people I can talk to if I need and last night I needed to. I met with our family therapist on my own last night and talked about everything that's got me stressed out surrounding my 40th birthday. I didn't realize how much I have rolling around in my head. Some if it's new-ish and some of it has been there a very long time. There are things that date back to my fire/medic days and things that are related to fears over…

My morning plans are shot because I don't feel well and I'm heading back to bed. I'm really hoping to feel better in a couple of hours but right now, I'm not doing so well.

So I went walking tonight, as I'm doing almost every single night. I'm averaging about 60 miles a month and it feels pretty good. For the record, I weighed in at 308.4 lbs today and that's down from 340 lbs. I would say that most of this weight has come off in the last few months. I'm trying to make it a slow and steady process because if I do, it's more likely to be sustainable long term. Anyway, the last couple of times I've walked have proven to be pretty cool. Aside from the exercise, I have had some interesting experiences. The other day, while walking, this deer just walks across the track in front of me. It calmly walks passed all the people and cars, like it didn't…