I don’t remember much of today

Sorry I've been absent today. The boys spent part of the day with their Mom and I slept almost the entire time they were gone.  I haven't had a good nights sleep in some time and once the boys were gone, my body just sorta shut down. I only woke up when the boys came home and don't remember much in between.  I know that some of you can relate to that level of exhaustion because it's certainly not unique to me alone.  Anyway, the boys and I have an open house to go to at my sisters tonight. I also have a meeting later on and I'm not sure I have the energy to get this all done but I'm gonna try.  I'm working up the energy to get…

2 Comments

Do you ever get used to losing your marriage? A Deeply personal post from a newly single Dad

I wasn't sure if I was going to touch on this part of my life with this new blog but I'm not really sure how I couldn't.  Everyone has a moment in their life that changes the the course of everything going forward. That moment for me, occurred on the night of October 14, 2014. That's the night that my wife left and never returned.  I thought that we were the exception to the rule.  It was her second marriage and we were a blended family with special needs children. I suppose the cards were stacked against us but I never saw this coming and there are still times I wake up in the middle of the night thinking it was just a bad dream.     I know guys who've…

4 Comments

It’s been a really difficult day for this single Dad

It's been one of those night that I have yet to fall asleep. It's been a exhausting day, filled with ups and downs. The boys have struggled and yet we celebrated a few victories as well.  I got the boys down for the night but Elliott is still awake and shortly after he came downstairs, Emmett joined the party.  There was laundry that needed to be done for the boys to leave the house with clothes on to go visit their Mom for the day. We had a little snafu with the dryer and so it took way longer than intended.  When everything was done for the night, I was able to get the boys back in their own beds, at least for now.  As I'm writing this in bed,…

0 Comments

Taking my 3 kids with #Autism to the grocery store isn’t easy

The boys and I had to hit the grocery store this afternoon. Sometimes I'd like to avoid taking them with me, especially if they're in a mood but that's a luxury that a single parent just doesn't always have.  Elliott struggles with wanting everything he sees and that's proving to be problematic. The reasons behind that have nothing to do with being greedy, selfish, difficult or materialism. This is rooted much deeper and the result of trauma.     He's desperately trying to find things to fill the giant void left by his mother when she left last year.  It's a losing battle that stuck on repeat because no matter how many times he realizes that you can't replace people with things, he keeps trying. It's heartbreaking and I facilitate this…

1 Comment

This #Autism Dad had to put himself in time-out again

I'm an Autism Dad. I'm also human and a single parent, carrying the entire weight and responsibility of my three kiddos on the Autism Spectrum, by myself.   It would stand to reason that I'm going to get frustrated with my kids, their Mother, my life, the people in front of me who, in my opinion, shouldn't be driving and just about anything else that endures a stress response in me. I think that's pretty normal.  I sorta felt like we were having a decent day, not perfect but decent. I was happy with that.     Out of nowhere, Emmett apparently reached his threshold for being able to cope with life and he's been screaming on and off, for the last couple hours. This soon pushes Elliott over the edge because,…

0 Comments

Working off anxiety by exploring nature 

I find myself once again working outside with Elliott. I'm helping him to deal with his anxiety in a healthier way. Right now I'm just sitting on the porch watching him do his thing.  He's collecting bugs to feed his toads. There's something about flipping over the rocks and being outside that just provides him with instantaneous relief from his worries.  I do have to be cautious because we are in a not so good neighborhood and it's prone to outbreaks violence. I'm elated about this though, because it's free, accessible, healthy and in many ways, educational. So far it's working but I don't know for how long or what I'll do in the winter.  Either way, I'm doing my best to help my son through a very difficult time…

0 Comments

The role of medications in my son’s life

It was refill Gavin's weekly pill dispenser time this morning. It's my favorite time of the week <insert sarcasm>.  I actually hate doing this because it's a reminder of everything that Gavin struggles with.  I've got the actual process down to a science but it's relatively tedious. What you see in the picture below is just one weeks worth of his medication. Majority of the pills are actually for his physical health issues. He's on three psychiatric medications and that's actually progress because it used to be more than that.    There are medications to reduce his heart rate and manage his blood pressure. There are medications to reduce the chance of a bad reaction to his biweekly IVIG infusions as well. There are also two inhalers for asthma and…

4 Comments

Using what I have to try and channel my kids excessive energy in a positive way

Before Elliott got hurt last night, I was trying to keep the kids focusing their energies in a positive way. That's not always easy in the neighborhood we live in because of safety concerns.  This afternoon, we gave the toads tank a makeover.  You might remember that the boys rescued a family of toads on the 4th of July. It doesn't cost us anything more than our time because I already had the supplies in the basement.  I've been using this as a chance to teach the boys about toads live and eat. Toads don't do much but they do like to eat and I take Elliott outside during the day when his anxiety gets too much for him and we look for insects to feed the toads.  It really calms…

1 Comment