Our plans have had to be adjusted for this weekend because I'm not doing so well. As of now, I will be staying behind while the boys and Lizze head to the family Christmas party. The boys will be heading to Lizze's parents to spend the day and when it's time for the party, they will pick Lizze up on the way. I feel terrible not going but honestly, I feel even more terrible simply existing at the moment. My hope is that I'll feel well enough to spend Christmas Eve with my in-laws and if I'm really lucky, I'll be okay to see my side of the family on Christmas day. If nothing else, perhaps we can have a quiet, at home Christmas this year.

We're going to be doing things a little differently this year than in previous years. Rather than stay at home for most of the holiday, and try to keep things as calm as possible, we're going to be spending more time with family. The past few years, we've been really trying to limit the excitement, in order to help ensure we physically and emotionally survived the holiday. lol This year we will be going to a larger Christmas party on Lizze's side of the family on the 23rd. Christmas Eve will be spent with Lizze's parents and Christmas Day will be spent with my family. The kids will have a blast with their cousins but like I've said before, it will come at a price. At the very least, the…

There's a great deal of stress being felt by Lizze and I but I don't think it's any one thing in particular. The overall amount of shit going on in general is likely the biggest contributing factor. We're pretty much ready for Christmas in regards to shopping but there's way more to Christmas then shopping. Based on how out of control the boys are right now, I can only see things getting worse as we draw closer and closer to the big day. In my last post, I mentioned how the boys were getting along pretty well but that apparently has run its course. Now they're fighting like brothers again and it's upping the level of tension in this house.