I’ve had to have this heartbreaking conversation too many times already

I feel like I'm beginning to crack under the pressure of everything. The kids are all over the place tonight and I love them to pieces but I wouldn't hate it if they were a bit quieter and a bit more cooperative. Gavin is driving me crazy with his incessant talking about the same goddamn thing, over and over again. It doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in or how bad of a day I'm having, he just keeps coming at with stuff about his games. He hasn't the first clue how annoying it is and he's not doing it to create trouble, he just can't help himself. Many times there's just no escaping the onslaught of verbiage coming out of his mouth. If he does catch himself trying…

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How did I miss this?

I've been staring at my calender all week, either searching for appointments or scheduling interviews and new appointments. As much as I've been looking over things this week, I failed to notice something. As I was getting the boys to school, this morning, Emmett pointed out that they have a 4 day weekend. I love my kids but inside my head I was like fuck, a 4 day fucking weekend, are you kidding me? Not sure how things are going to go but it's probably best to make some plans to keep them occupied. I'm already a bit too stressed out and the idea of a 4 day weekend is alot bit overwhelming.

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My plans keep changing but that’s okay

The plan was to go walking and then pick up the kids from school. As I was parking at the park I walk at, my Mom called and needed me to come over to help with my Grandpa. As much as I wanted to walk before picking up the boys up from school, some things are more important. I headed over, helped my amazing Grandpa and hung out for a bit. Lizze called and needed Ginger Ale, so I stopped by the store on the way to the school and picked some up. She experiences a great deal of nausea as a result of her stomach issues and overall pain. Ginger Ale is her goto for relief. Now I'm waiting for the boys to be dismissed. Assuming they're doing okay,…

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Just got home from having my hand x-rayed

I just got home and I have no broken bones. They said it was badly bruised and the radiologist will have a look at it, just in case. If they see anything that was missed, they'll call me. My hand hurts like hell and it's pretty swollen but it could definitely be worse. The way I see it is I did the crime and now I do the time. It's going to be a rough few days as the bruising heals and the swelling goes down. Ice, Tylenol, and elevation will be my friends.

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I’m an idiot

So I'm an idiot. After Lizze and I had our spirited disagreement, she walked away and I punched the refrigerator. In my 40 years on this planet, I've only ever punched something twice. I've never hit a person though. Both times that I can remember, were inanimate objects. The first time was when I was in high school. I punched a wall, hit a stud and broke my hand. The second time was yesterday when I punched the refrigerator. As a result of being an idiot, I'm dropping the boys off at school and going for an x-ray. I'm reasonably sure that I broke my hand. It's better to make sure and get it treated than let it heal incorrectly and require surgery later. Maybe I'll luck out and it…

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Sometimes I’m in way over my head

My life is complicated, challenging and quite often overwhelming for me. Most of the time, however, I tend to do okay with things. I'm always stressed out and may struggle from time to time or have a bad day here or there but that's the nature of the beast. Then there are times when I feel like I'm in way over my head. It can feel like I've jumped into the deep end of the pool, with weights around my ankles and I don't know how to swim. It's all I can do to gasp a breath of air before going under again. This is sorta where I'm finding myself right now. There's too much happening all at once and I can't keep on top of it all. In my…

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I’m so overwhelmed and I need life to slow down

It's been a really, really long day and I'm not exactly in a good place. I simply wanted to drop a general update because there are a couple of things that have occurred. First and foremost, Elliott's appointment at Akron Children's Hospital Behavioral Health has been moved. They called me the other day with a cancelation opening for October 9th and I jumped on it. That's a almost a full month earlier than the original appointment and that's absolutely a good thing. We want to get Elliott whatever help he needs to be happy and healthy. I also received a phone call from the claims adjuster in regards to our storm damage from last week. The good news is we have an appointment but the bad news is that our…

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Confessions: Sometimes I can be a shitty husband

No one is perfect, least of all me. I'm as far from perfect as one can get. Sometimes I can have days where I'm farther from perfect than I typically am. Today is one such day. Lizze and I are under a great deal of unrelenting stress. We have everything with the kids, everything going on with her and everything going on in the rest of our lives (finances, the house, the car, where we live etc). It takes its toll at times and sometimes, I just overload. Lizze was trying to talk to me about something in regards to her health and I was not a good listener. How hard can that be? Clearly, it's hard for me and that's unfair to Lizze. It really is unfair and it's…

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