I’m finally sleeping alone tonight

I've been feeling a significant amount of anxiety today and it came to a head after dinner. The kids have been at each other's throats all day and Gavin will not stop talking about whatever floats into his brain. It's a lot to deal with on top of everything else. I'm pretty sure that I'm experiencing little panic attacks. I feel heart palpations and I have to really work to calm myself. Unfortunately, there's no escape from the stress and nowhere to hide. That being said, I decided that I need my bedroom to be my sanctuary. I need it to be a safe place for me to escape to when I need a time out. That means that I need to get Emmett to transition back to his own…

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OMG, it looked like a f*cking crime scene

It's been a really, really, really long night. Both the boys are home from school today for weird reasons. Well, Elliott's got a sinus thing and the drainage is making him sick to his stomach. He was up all night. To make things more fun, about 3AM, Emmett's nose exploded all over my bed. He gets nose bleeds sometimes and there's no reason for them. They're sorta spontaneous and unpredictable. We think it's related to his allergy meds drying him out too much. It's a pretty fine line between managing his allergies and this. Emmett finally fell asleep under a mound of blankets. Have you ever seen those movies where the guy goes to sleep and wakes up to the other side of the bed covered in blood? Yeah, it…

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(S2E4) Dr. John Kruse on what Donald Trump can teach us about adult ADHD

(S2E4) In this episode, I have a conversation with Dr. John Kruse, MD, PhD about all things ADHD, including his brand new book titled "Recognizing Adult ADHD: What Donald Trump Can Teach Us About Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder." Dr. Kruse has 25 years of psychiatric experience and specializes in treating adults with ADHD, that's right, adults. I talk with him about his new book and he debunks some of the most common myths surrounding ADHD. Learn the facts about what ADHD is and how it can seriously impact a person's life, and why he believes Donald Trump has it, you need to listen to this episode.  You can find me: Website: theautismdad.com Twitter: twitter.com/the_autism_dad   You can find Dr. Kruse: Website: https://www.drjohnkruse.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/john.kruse.7583 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrJohnKruse You can grab his…

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This is where I find my strength

One of the most common questions I get from people is how in the world do I manage. Often times I'm it more like this how in the fuck do you survive all this? Where do you find the strength? I'm not offended by any of these questions in any way and by answering them honestly, I've hoped that my words would provide comfort to those who are struggling. With that in mind, I wanted to put out a reminder and basically answer this question one more time, publicly. First of all, I'm no different than anyone else. My situation maybe more complicated or challenging but I'm just a Dad. I'm just one person and a flawed one at that. I don't have any superpowers or magic tricks to help…

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We’re starting 2 new medications with hopes that they’ll help

We had an eventful day and I'm fucking exhausted. The boys had their appointments this afternoon at Akron Children's Hospital. The appointments went pretty well. Right now, we're trying to deal with the excessive anxiety and sleep disruption both the boys are experiencing since their mom left earlier this summer. It's very difficult to tease apart ADHD and anxiety because they can present similarly. There hasn't been any major changes anything at this point. We did add a new medication to help with sleep for Elliott and nightmares for Emmett. Elliott is starting Clonidine and Emmett is starting something similar but I can't remember the name. Emmett began his new meds tonight but Elliott will have to wait until tomorrow cause his script hasn't arrived yet. We're hoping that we…

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So far I’m kicking ass today

It's a brand new day and while we overslept a little bit, the kids got to school on time. I was able to go walking this morning with Gavin and my Mom. I even took Gavin for his blood work afterwards. ☺ The plan for the day is to pick up the boys from school at noon and then head to Akron Children's Behavioral Health for monthly med checks. That means I have back to back appointments there this afternoon but it sure as hell beats two trips. On the way home, I'm dropping the kids off with Lizze and her Mom for her Wednesday visit. The kids will be home after dinner but I'm glad their getting some time with their mom. It looks like we're finally getting into…

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I’m sorry it’s depressing but it’s my life

The kids have been a handful, all day long. They're feeling better and should be back to school in the AM. I'm having a hard time falling asleep tonight because the stress of everything is weighing heavy. I feel like the house is falling apart all around me. I'm having a very difficult time focusing on anything right now. That's probably at least partially related to depression. I had to cancel my therapist today because the kids were home sick. She's out of the office next week so it's going to be awhile before I can get back in. I didn't get to walk today either and that impacts my mood and overall demeanor as well. If I were trying to raise my kids alone in a vacuum, it would…

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In short, my entire day is shot

The only person who slept last night was Gavin and even he woke up a few times due to not feeling well. Elliott didn't fall asleep until 6:30 AM and Emmett was up on and off throughout the night, which kept me awake for most of the night as well. Neither of the boys are feeling good and for the first time this school year, it doesn't appear to be emotional in nature. +1 for progress. I'm absolutely exhausted and I can barely keep my eyes open. Unfortunately, all of this has thrown a wrench into the days plans. Walking won't happen, Gavin's appointment won't happen, his blood work won't happen and neither will therapy for me. I'm having such a hard time even writing this because my eyes keep…

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