I didn't sleep for very long, but I managed to get at least a few hours. That being said, I feel pretty good this morning. I was up and at the park today by 6:30 AM. My walk went well and I'm feeling pretty good about starting the day like this. Last night was pretty rough for me, but I think that there's a chance today will be better. ☺
The truth is, I'm NOT okay. I'm not okay and I'm going to be very honest about why that is.
As I predicted in my last post, while my kids were enthusiastic about going for an early morning walk, their enthusiasm didn't last long. Elliott was wearing sandals because his shoes are now uncomfortable for him. They aren't too small, and they're in very good shape. I think it's probably sensory related. Anyway, he was also getting eaten alive. The bugs love him, and he barely made it the first one and a half miles. Emmett did okay, but he was pooping out pretty quickly. I relocated us to a different part of the park in a bid to avoid the bugs, and salvage the walk. Unfortunately, Elliott was done and wanted to go home. I got less than two miles in, and it's a bit frustrating. It was a…
I got up this morning at 7:30 AM to go walking. As I was getting ready to leave, Elliott hopped out of bed and decided he would go with me. Before we could get out the door, Emmett decided the same thing. I don't mind when my kids come with me, but it does slow the process down, and they often won't finish. Many times there are sensory related problems that interfere with them walking. Things like their shoes feel funny or clothes itch. Inevitably, I won't get my three miles in, but it's also essential that they get out as well. It's just one of the sacrifices we make as parents. While I'm losing some distance and intensity, I'm gaining some time with my kids. 🙂
Being an Autism parent is incredibly challenging. If you've been following our journey, you have probably picked up on that message by now. I try to be open, honest, and transparent about that because spin won't do anyone any good. 😉 I'm struggling a great deal lately. That makes an already challenging and complex situation even more so. Factor in depression, as well as the loss of several family members, and I feel like I'm drowning at times. My Daddy Do List keeps growing by the day. I have bills that need managing, a house in desperate need of repairs, a car that simply needs to be replaced because it's beyond repair, mounting yard work, and about million other things. I have a backlog of work-related things that need to…
I got my nap in, and that may just end up being the limit of today's excitement. Lizze isn't feeling well, so going anywhere or doing anything wasn't really possible. I hate seeing her so miserable and not be able to help. It also sucks not being able to take advantage of the time to ourselves. It would have been so nice to get out of the house together and not because we have a doctors appointment. It is what it is, and dwelling on the uncontrollable is pointless. The kids just got home, and it sounds like something happened. I can hear Emmett from all the way up here and he doesn't sound very happy. Perhaps I'll just head down and see what's going on. I'm struggling a bit…
The boys will be getting out of the house for a much-needed break. Lizze and I will subsequently receive a break as well. Grandma is taking them swimming this afternoon, and everyone is excited. I had a hard time sleeping last night but did manage to catch some shut-eye. The quality was pretty bad, but at least I slept. Stress is really taking a toll on my ability to sleep at night, and that is not a good thing. We've been dealing with a great deal lately, and I'm hoping we can find a way to right the ship and get things back on track. On the positive side of things, I dragged my ass out of bed bright and early, regardless of how exhausted I felt. I went walking…
I've spoken about my personal war with depression many times. This time, I thought I would take a few minutes and provide some insight into how we knew that Emmett was struggling with depression, as well as why we decided medication was in his best interest. Everyone is different, and this is not to be viewed as medical advice or replace seeking help from your doctor. Emmett is our recently turned 11-year-old. He's the youngest of our three autistic kids. He's been through a great deal in his short life from Gavin's extreme behavior to the loss of three family members in the last eight months. Everyone in our house is on at least one medication, and some are on multiple. We take medications very, very seriously, especially for our…