Depression Archives - Page 59 of 323

No Shirt No Shoes No School

Emmett went to bed not feeling good and still isn't feeling good this morning. Neither is Elliott. They had a blast at the movie last night and didn't even get to bed that late. They're both very stressed out and that would take a toll on anyone. Elliott's hip hurts and Emmett's stomach is upset. Both are going to school because if they don't, they won't be able to visit their mom tonight. If they are too sick to go to school, they're too sick to go anywhere. That's how we've always handled things like this. I'm pretty sure their mom would support that decision. I only push this because it's most likely emotionally based and as shitty as it is that they have to be dealing with this fucked…

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September 20, 2019

Emmett John / My thoughts

Trying to dad-gineer Emmett’s Halloween costume early this year

I wanted to do a quick update in regards to figuring out the boys Halloween costumes for this year. It's a bit of a challenge because they are very particular but I'm making progress. This is really important to them this year and I suspect it's a positive distraction. Elliott and Emmett want to go as Sam and Dean Winchester, respectively. At the moment, I'm focusing on Emmett's costume because it's going to require some dad-gineering. The most important piece of Emmett's costume for him is the first blade. If you've ever watched Supernatural, you're familiar with what that is. If you're not, here's a picture. You might need to zoom in a bit but you get the idea. This is super important to Emmett and the cheapest knockoff we…

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September 19, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

The kids are turning on each other again

The boys got off to school but we were late. Emmett had nightmares all night again and I wasn't able to sleep well because he kept startling awake. Unfortunately, I overslept as a result and that didn't get us off to a good start. Elliott must have partially dislocated his hip while he was sleeping because he was in a lot of pain this morning. We were in such a hurry to get out the door, I forgot to give Elliott a motrin for his hip pain. Total failure on my part but I can't change it. The only reason I even know I forgot was because I heard from the school. Elliott was having problems with his hip and they wanted permission to give him motrin for it. Hopefully…

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September 19, 2019

Emmett John / My thoughts / New Beginnings

He’s permanently moved himself into my room

For about a month and a half, Emmett has been crashing in my room at night. He won't sleep in his own bed or stay in his room since his mom moved out. I sorta expected this because it's what happened the last time as well. He's struggling more than he's saying or maybe is aware of, but the constant nightmares, the strangling me at night, tummy aches, headaches and moodiness have me concerned. Emmett has informed me that he's permanently moving into my room. He's moved most of his things, including his clothes, into the recently vacated dresser in my room. I've spoken to him about how this is a temporary arrangement because it's important that he sleep in his own bed. I'm happy to do this if it…

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September 18, 2019

Elliott / Emmett John / My thoughts / New Beginnings / School

I wish he could just be a kid

Gavin and I waited outside the school as we do every single day. Gavin was lost in his game and I was anxiously awaiting the doors to open so I could see how the boys did today. They've both been struggling at school as a result of all the recent changes that have been forced upon them. The good news is that both of them made it through the day. Emmett was in pretty good shape and that's awesome. Elliott on the other hand, had a pretty rough day and it absolutely breaks my heart. When he went to school this morning, he was so stressed out that he'd broken out in hives. Before school, I gave him his new antihistamine that doubles as a mild anti-anxiety medication, hoping that…

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September 18, 2019

Elliott / Emmett John / My thoughts / New Beginnings / School

Even baby steps are steps forward

It was a rough night. Emmett had nightmares throughout the entire night and kept waking up. I'm exhausted and we ended up oversleeping as a result. To make things worse, I was so overwhelmed last night that I forgot to bake a new batch of pepperoni rolls for their lunches. Thankfully, Elliott and Emmett both decided to have leftover pizza in their lunch instead. I'm pretty sure they took pitty on me and while I appreciate that, I'm hoping they actually eat their lunch today. We got out the door a few minutes early because I needed to talk to the school and clarify how we were going to handle the boys when they were distressed while at school. I made sure the boys were present so everyone was on…

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September 18, 2019

Clozapine / Gavin / My thoughts

A super quick but important Clozapine update

A quick follow up on the status of Gavin's Clozapine prescription. I had mentioned last week that we were trying to get his Clozapine script approved for a 14 day supply at a time. Gavin's numbers have been stable for the last 6 months and he's eligible to move to the new script. We just needed to make sure the powers that be approved it. His refill arrived late last week and to my dismay, it was only a 7 day supply. It took a few calls to get through to the pharmacy and when I did, I questioned them about the script. Turns out, they simply filled the wrong on and going forward, they will try to fill for the 14 day supply. This of course assumes that it…

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September 18, 2019

My thoughts

I feel like I’m f*cking drowning right now

I'm not feeling super positive tonight folks. Being a parent to kids with Autism and/or Special Needs is fucking hard. It's incredibly rewarding and worth every effort that goes into it, but it's fucking challenging in ways that are simply impossible to understand unless you've lived it. Navigating this life would be challenging in a vacuum but unfortunately, life doesn't exist in a vacuum. Life is full of shit that makes it even more complicated than it already is. Today has been one of those days where there was so much shit going on in my life, that I honestly questioned if I was strong enough to keep moving forward. My kids are struggling and when they're struggling, I'm hyper-vigilant. I'm so fucking stressed out right now that my chest…

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September 17, 2019