I had a really hard time sleeping last night. Elliott didn't fall asleep until early this morning and that's got him dragging. Emmett isn't feeling good and isn't wanting to go to school. Even Gavin is wanting to wake up today. Walking looks to be not happening due to weather and so I will likely just take Gavin for his blood work instead. I've got some jobs that need my attention this morning and I'm grateful to have them, just in time for Christmas. I also have to figure out what I'm doing with Emmett. Maybe we'll try a late start. That seems to help and it doesn't count against him. As an aside, the state just changed the ridiculous way they were tracking attendance and we're in good shape…

It's been a stressful afternoon and evening. The kids came home after what seems to have been a very positive visit with their mom, and just fell apart. Holy shit has it been a rough day. The kids have been fighting and bouncing off the walls. Gavin has been overwhelmed most of the evening and had a meltdown after dinner. He actually did very well and got through it without hurting himself or breaking something but he was over the edge for sure. I write this off to fallout from the visit and that's probably right on the mark. Something people seem to misunderstand is that fallout isn't always the result of a negative experience. My kids love seeing their mom but it's very emotionally charged and they struggle with…

The boys have been at their mom and grandparents house since lunchtime yesterday. They'll be home any minute and I wanted to get a quick post done before they got here. I didn't do much while the kids were gone and I feel like I should have. I don't get many breaks and when I do, I'm usually too tired to do much. It's really the only time I can have some actual downtime without any guilt, even though I feel guilty that I didn't get anything done anyway. Breaks always make me feel guilty. Emmett isn't feeling well this morning and I foresee school being an issue tomorrow. I'm not sure what's going on but they seem to have it managed cause I offered to pick him up this…

It's been a crazy long day. The kids have been driving me absolutely bonkers and I'm so grateful to at least have hope that they will be returning to school in the morning. I'm still really worried about Elliott but his pediatrician says he's okay and it sounds much worse than it actually is. I absolutely love my kids but I need a break. I haven't been able to walk in well over a week and I haven't been able to walk regularly in months. It's taking its toll on me. Anyway, everyone is sleeping and I've been up fighting with the audio for Friday's podcast. I'm frustrated because I want to do better audio but I'm limited by my environment and equipment. I'm just overwhelmed with life in general…