I'm kinda pushing myself to get through today. Nothing drastic has changed but I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I'm relieved that my life is finally moving forward and I can begin implementing some of the things I've been waiting to do. That's all positive. At the same time, however, I feel depleted and out of sorts. I slept pretty good last night and that's good. The problem I believe, is more about the years of stress, pain, and exhaustion that have culminated since 2014. All of that has finally reached its conclusion, and I don't have to be strong or stoic anymore for myself or my kids. I'm able to let myself feel these things now. I'm starting over and in order to do that, I have to go through…

It's Thursday and that means the last day of school for the week. Fridays are deemed independent work days and that essentially means that it's a day where the kids get caught up on any school work they haven't finished. If they're current, it's a free day. I'm pretty sure both boys are caught up but I'll know for sure after they're done with school today. I went to bed in a not so good place and woke up feeling better. Emmett must have had a nightmare because I woke up several times because he kicked me. When I fell asleep last night, Emmett was safely tucked into his own bed and fast asleep. I'm not sure what happened. Either way, I'm glad I could be there for him to…

I feel like my day started off amazingly well and then it slowly, methodically descended into chaos as the day went on. I managed to get some work done but not enough and that's really frustrating me. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and in the process of figuring out how to go about building a new life. Emmett is struggling because he apparently was under the impression the divorce had been finalized for a long time. When it discovered that it wasn't going to be finalized until yesterday, it really upset him. I didn't know he had misunderstood the situation for so long and I'm not sure what lead to the confusion. Unfortunately, he now feels like the whole thing has been reopened. He's on a hair trigger right now and it's…

I'm getting divorced on Tuesday morning and there are a few things Lizze wanted from the house. It was kinda like a scavanger hunt because I couldn't find some of these things at first. After a few phones calls back and forth, I managed to locate most of what she was looking for. There are some items in the attic but they're staying there until I gut it, hopefully this spring. Anyway, I emptied my closet completely for the first time since she left and I came across quite a few memories that hurt to remember. They would otherwise be positive memories, and perhaps with time, someday they will be again. Everything is collected into about four or five boxes and they're just sitting in my room, waiting to be…