Gavin's appointment with Dr. Reynolds went as good as it really could have. He's doing about the same and so there aren't any changes at this point. We're going to monitor his labs once a week from this point forward and try and keep everything the same until we get into Hematology. I don't know. Perhaps this is part of what's eating me alive? I'm so worried about Gavin and it's exhausting. I need to cope a little better because things aren't likely to get better, The reality is that things will only get worse as time goes by. I have to be able to deal with this in a healthier way. For right now, I'm focusing on the fact that Gavin is doing okay. I'm grateful for that and…

I'm so fucking stressed out today and I'm not sure why. We didn't get off to a good start this morning but there are plenty of mornings like that and I don't feel like this. I'm completely frazzled and don't even want anyone talking to me. It feels like everyone around me is going in slow motion and I'm in a big hurry. This is all on me but I don't know what triggered this. I've only had a few actually anxiety attacks in my life and perhaps this is one of those. Absolutely everything feels insurmountable and there's this overwhelming sense of impending doom or that I forgot something extremely important. I feel like I'm going crazy and my body is shaky. The reality is that I'm depressed, exhausted,…