coronavirus Archives - Page 9 of 19

Gavin gets his final dose of the #COVID #vaccine today

It's gonna be a hectic day. I have a two hour meeting after lunch and it should finish up just in time for me to get Gavin to the health department for his second dose of the Pfizer COVID vaccine. I'm a little concerned about how Gavin is going to handle the side effects. More than that, I'm concerned about how severe the side effects will be for him because of all his health issues. The vaccine is absolutely vital for him and I'm not worried about its safety at all. Most people experience side effects, which is expected. I just don't know how they will impact him, personally. Gavin decided to do his IVIG infusion a day early so he wasn't putting too much strain on his body today.…

0 Comments

February 19, 2021

Confessions / Depression Management / Medications / My thoughts

Why I’m increasing my antidepressant today

I gave myself one week to grieve the loss of my marriage and that week was officially over. While I'm not hitting the ground running, at least as quickly as I was hoping, I am moving forward. In a little while, I have an appointment with my PCP over the phone, due to COVID. I've made the decision to talk to my doctor about increasing my antidepressant. The reason behind this is that I recognize that everything has taken a toll on me and while I'm not defeated, I'm also not in total control either. Depression is influencing me a bit more than I'm comfortable with right now, and frankly, it has been. The last couple of years have been difficult and I've been dealing with a lot. COVID has…

1 Comment

February 17, 2021

My thoughts

My life can be hair pulling and trying to herd cats kinda fun

So we had a little drama this evening and while it's not a huge deal, it perfectly illiterates some of the unique challenges I'm trying to manage. We have a Soda Stream and the kids use it to carbonate their water. We've pretty much removed most of the sugary drinks from our lives. Anyway, I had to swap out the CO2 canister yesterday and for whatever reason, Emmett went and swapped it out again. Basically, he swapped a full canister for a full canister. That's not a huge deal because I can just swap it back when this one is empty. The problem was that I found it on the edge of the table in the kitchen. These canisters are under pressure and while they're safe, you don't necessarily want…

0 Comments

February 15, 2021

My thoughts

I gave myself 1 week to grieve

As you know by now, I finalized my divorce about a week ago. If you been following for any length of time, you know that this was an emotionally complicated experience for me. This wasn't something I wanted and I didn't understand what happened. Fast forward a year and a half, and I've accepted that my marriage was ending. I'm not happy about it but I do understand it's for the best. As I've said before, the person I married doesn't exist anymore. It's not meant to be an insult to her either. People change and she totally acknowledges that. One of the complicated things for me is coming to grips with this. It's been challenging for me at times and dealing with depression doesn't help. My whole point is…

0 Comments

February 15, 2021

My thoughts

I’m reprioritizing my daily life

I'm kinda pushing myself to get through today. Nothing drastic has changed but I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I'm relieved that my life is finally moving forward and I can begin implementing some of the things I've been waiting to do. That's all positive. At the same time, however, I feel depleted and out of sorts. I slept pretty good last night and that's good. The problem I believe, is more about the years of stress, pain, and exhaustion that have culminated since 2014. All of that has finally reached its conclusion, and I don't have to be strong or stoic anymore for myself or my kids. I'm able to let myself feel these things now. I'm starting over and in order to do that, I have to go through…

0 Comments

February 14, 2021

My thoughts

Having reasonable expectations for myself

It's Thursday and that means the last day of school for the week. Fridays are deemed independent work days and that essentially means that it's a day where the kids get caught up on any school work they haven't finished. If they're current, it's a free day. I'm pretty sure both boys are caught up but I'll know for sure after they're done with school today. I went to bed in a not so good place and woke up feeling better. Emmett must have had a nightmare because I woke up several times because he kicked me. When I fell asleep last night, Emmett was safely tucked into his own bed and fast asleep. I'm not sure what happened. Either way, I'm glad I could be there for him to…

0 Comments

February 11, 2021

My thoughts

A long overdue emotional exhale

I feel like my day started off amazingly well and then it slowly, methodically descended into chaos as the day went on. I managed to get some work done but not enough and that's really frustrating me. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and in the process of figuring out how to go about building a new life. Emmett is struggling because he apparently was under the impression the divorce had been finalized for a long time. When it discovered that it wasn't going to be finalized until yesterday, it really upset him. I didn't know he had misunderstood the situation for so long and I'm not sure what lead to the confusion. Unfortunately, he now feels like the whole thing has been reopened. He's on a hair trigger right now and it's…

2 Comments

February 10, 2021

Divorce / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Why I don’t believe time heals all wounds

Yesterday was honestly one of the hardest days of my life but I survived. My marriage of nearly two decades officially came to an end, oddly enough, with the same words that it began with, I do. Our court hearing took place over the phone, at my attorney's office. It's kinda weird doing something like this over the phone but COVID has changed a great many things on our daily lives. The whole process took only a few minutes and it basically ended with the Lizze and I each being asked if we wanted to the court to adopt our agreement. I hadn't recognized the irony of answering that question with I do until 24 hours later, as I was writing this. The question was asked something like this. Robert,…

3 Comments

February 10, 2021