coronavirus Archives - Page 10 of 19

I’m struggling a bit tonight

I'm getting divorced on Tuesday morning and there are a few things Lizze wanted from the house. It was kinda like a scavanger hunt because I couldn't find some of these things at first. After a few phones calls back and forth, I managed to locate most of what she was looking for. There are some items in the attic but they're staying there until I gut it, hopefully this spring. Anyway, I emptied my closet completely for the first time since she left and I came across quite a few memories that hurt to remember. They would otherwise be positive memories, and perhaps with time, someday they will be again. Everything is collected into about four or five boxes and they're just sitting in my room, waiting to be…

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February 7, 2021

My thoughts

I got some health related news today

It's stressful day but I ended up getting some really good news. Since being on lockdown, I haven't been to see my doctor. The last time I was seen was September of 2019. I was not in a good place at that point because my wife had just left and I was feeling completely lost trying to raise the kids on my own. When I was seen for a routine checkup, I have my routine labs run and while they weren't super bad, they were bad for me. My glucose was high, my cholesterol was high, my triglycerides were high and I was pretty much a hot mess. I was not in a good place emotionally and I that certainly wasn't helpful. I was supposed to return for a routine…

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February 6, 2021

My thoughts

I solved a simple but nagging problem

I've been back in my makeshift studio recording season 4 of my podcast and I've had this one nagging problem that I haven't been able to fix. That's not exactly true. The truth is, I haven't been willing to take the time needed to fix it properly. It's not a huge deal but it's annoying as all get out. Part of the reason for the delay in properly repairing was that I wanted to enlist Emmett's help in troubleshooting and see if he could come up with a working solution. If you look at the underside of my table, you'll see a mess of cables. I wanted to make the table include everything without having multiple cords plugged into the limited outlets in my room. I ran one powers trip…

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February 4, 2021

Depression / My thoughts

My life will forever change next week but I’m going to be okay

I realized this morning that my marriage will officially be over in a week. I'm sure it will be the main topic in therapy this week. This whole thing is a mixed bag for me because letting go of something that was so important to me is incredibly difficult. There's a roller coaster of emotions surrounding this and as I'm laying here on the couch, listening to my kids kids playing upstairs, I'm getting emotional. I've been talking to my therapist about this a lot and last week, she was pretty blunt with me. She's a little concerned that while I may be doing okay right now, next Tuesday could be a very different story. I'm managing my depression as well as can be expected under all these insane conditions.…

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February 1, 2021

My thoughts

I love sharing good news

I wanted to share a couple of updates that are actually quite positive for a change. For those who don't know, Gavin's absolute favorite snack in the entire world is Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. They're simply his thing and have been for as long as I can remember. For his 21st birthday, I wanted to surprise him with a whole bunch of Swiss Rolls. I ordered a case on Amazon and it finally showed up. There's about 100 Swiss Rolls and he was in heaven. 😂 Being the sweetheart that he is, he wanted to share with his brothers and gave them each a box. He wanted to give them more but I limited it to one box each because I really want this to be for Gavin. Before the…

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January 30, 2021

My thoughts

#Autism or not, kids will be kids and brothers will be brothers

It's been a day. The kids have not been very cooperative and fighting a great deal more than usual. I'm not sure what's going on but we'll just say it was a somewhat challenging weekend. One of the issues we're struggling with is the boys get very frustrated with Gavin. They see a grown man on the outside but get frustrated when he doesn't act like an adult. Gavin wants to be treated like he's an adult but very often doesn't act like one and for good reason. Gavin is significantly cognitively delayed and in many areas of his emotional life, he's much closer to a 6 year old level than that of a 21 year old. I've known him for 20 years and I can find myself frustrated at…

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January 25, 2021

My thoughts

I’m getting divorced: What I’m grateful for and few other updates

The boys are still sleeping and Gavin's IVIG Infusion is going. The only noise I hear at the moment is the filter in the aquarium because the tank needs water added. It sounds like a water fall but not the calm, relaxing kind. It's super annoying and I will dump some water in when I'm done with this. After the inauguration, I just sorta crashed. Trump, COVID and my divorce, I have had me extremely stressed out and the last few days have been one long exhale. I figure there's no time like to present to get you an overdue update and so here I am. As I mentioned, the boys are still asleep. It's a no school day and I'm letting them sleep. Frankly, aside from the fish tank,…

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January 22, 2021

Gavin / My thoughts

This isn’t supposed to happen

It's Gavin's 21st birthday and we were off to a good start. His IVIG Infusion supplies showed up and he immediately went to work. Whenever he gets his supplies, I've taught him to put together kits containing everything he needs for each infusion. This serves a dual purpose. It helps him to learn how to organize, maintain and keep track of these life saving supplies. The other thing it does is help to streamline the infusion process as well as helps him to take inventory when the supplies are first received. It's important to take this inventory because sometimes items are missing and he needs to let me know immediately so I can get them ordered. This morning he put his kits together and he had enough supplies for eight…

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January 18, 2021