I’m grateful but heartbroken

I spent the last 12 or 13 hours with my grandmother. I got home a little bit ago because the kids were getting freaked out that I was gone for so long. I'm going to try and grab a few hours of sleep before heading back. My Dad and uncle are staying with her tonight. If anything changes, they'll call me. I'm exhausted in all ways a human can be exhausted. I want to sleep for a few hours and then head back. It's important to me that I be there and Lizze is being a huge help. I'm so grateful for that.. I'm grateful for the time I'm getting with my grandmother. I'm heartbroken it's coming to an end, but I'm glad I've had the opportunity to go through…

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Things are rough right now, but life keeps moving forward

I slept pretty good last night, but I had weird dreams. It's been a stressful week in a number of ways, and I've not really processed much of it. Some of the week's events have been hugely positive, like Lizze not needing surgery and Gavin making it through all his extensive testing. I even managed to get some projects completed. That's a good thing because that means food on the table and money for the bills. There's also been difficult moments, and those have weighed incredibly heavy. I'm spending as much time as I can with my grandmother, and I'm so grateful Lizze is in a place to allow me this opportunity. I'm really struggling with everything going on with my grandmother, and I feel like I desperately need to…

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Life is on hold for right now

After I get Gavin to have his bloodwork done for the week, I'll be spending most of the day with my grandmother. She's not going to be with us much longer, and I want to be there as much as I can. I'm going to bring some work and just hang out in case she needs anything. This is a struggle for me, and I'm really depressed. This is the part of life that no one enjoys.

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It’s not at all what we expected

I'm keeping this brief because I'm exhausted, both emotionally and physically. That said, I did want to let you know what happened at Lizze's appointment with her orthopedic specialist. The X-rays came back and apparently; there's nothing that requires surgical intervention. That's awesome but not at all what we thought was going to happen. Lizze has been told a few years back that she needed surgery to clean up her knee. She put it off until her knee was so bad that she couldn't take it. It turns out what looked like damage was a bit of arthritis behind her knee cap. The problems she's experiencing don't seem to be her actual joint physically. What the doctor thinks is happening is that the arthritis is causing something, I can't remember…

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Is knee surgery in our future?

Alright. Lizze had her knee x-ray, and as expected, it went just fine. We don't know what they show, but the process was smooth. She got in early, and we had about an hour to kill before she sees her doctor to learn the results. I was mistaken about her having an MRI on her knee today as well. She needs it and will have it done, but insurance required the x-ray first, and then we can schedule a return trip for the second MRI. It would be nice to knock this all out today, but insurance is being difficult. It's only about an hour long drive to get here, so it's not a huge deal. We just can't get enough of the Cleveland Clinic. 🙄 Hopefully, we'll at least…

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The @ClevelandClinic is probably getting sick of us

We got the boys dropped off and made our way back to the Cleveland Clinic again today. This time we're at the Medina location because that's where her orthopedic specialist is. We have a crazy long day ahead of us and plenty of time to wait between appointments. Lizze is getting an x-ray of her knee first; then she sees her doctor. About two hours after that, she has an MRI with contrast of her brain. This is related to her migraines. You may remember that Lizze has what her old neurologist called, a brain full of cysts. They are not believed to problematic, but her current neurologist at the Cleveland Clinic hasn't seen them, and he wants to make sure all is well inside her dome. We have always…

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It’s eerily quiet in my house right now

It's super quiet in my house right now, and that rarely happens, but I like it. Emmett is watching a video, Gavin is sleeping off his morning meds, Elliott is just sleeping, Lizze is getting ready for her appointments, and I'm writing this. 😊 We have a long day ahead of us, and on the other side of it, we'll know how bad Lizze's knee is and what kind of surgery is necessary. I know she's really nervous, but today is just about gathering information. I'm hoping that anything she needs to have done is minor in nature. It seems like everyone in my life right now is undergoing knee replacement surgery. I'm not sure her knee is that bad, but we'll soon find out. Please keep her in your…

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