It's going to be a chaotic week. On Tuesday Gavin sees his psychiatrist for a follow-up with his Clozapine. Wednesday is calling hours for my grandmother, and Thursday is her funeral. I'm not looking forward to most of this, but it's incredibly important that I not allow it to pull me under. Today is the first day in about a week that I should be able to go walking. I need to make that a priority, not only because I refuse to let a month go by where I don't reach my goal, but also it's something that helps me cope with stress. I definitely need all the help I can get in that area. Depression is no joke, and this is the kind of thing that has historically knocked…

I wanted to share a picture of one of my favorite moments over the last few months. The kids and I would stop by and have ice cream with my grandmother after school, almost every single day. She looked forward to it, and so did the kids. It was an extraordinary moment spent between my grandmother and her great grandkids. I'm so proud of my kids because they were very devoted to her and they each expressed it in a unique way. On Saturday morning, around 8 AM, my grandmother passed away. She was 94 years old. I've spent time with her every single day for the last few months. We were very close, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm broken.

I'm spending the day once again with my grandmother and various members of my family, as they sort of come through to visit. It's been a really long day, and I'm physically/emotionally exhausted. There's not a great deal of religion in my life, and that's by design. That being said, watching the priest perform last rites was really hard. I felt like I was going to get sick. I know it was important to my grandmother and my family, so I'm grateful the priest was able to make it out so quickly. There's been too much loss in the last six or right months. I know it's part of life and we all experience loss, but that doesn't make it any easier.