Today marks the sixteenth and final year of my marriage. What was once a cause for celebration is now so painful I can hardly take it. I'm full of emotions right now and I don't know what to do. It's very difficult for me exist today because everything I've known is coming to an end. Accepting the end of things is not easy and it's going to take some time but I'm trying to focus on the idea of new beginnings. Sometimes things come to an end and we don't understand why. Sometimes we may never understand why and we have to move on anyway. I'm trying really hard to focus on the positives right now but but I'm struggling to embrace them. As hard as this is for me…

I have a couple of short-term goals in regards to rebuilding our lives. I, of course, also have long-term goals as well but for now, I'm not in a place that I'm really focusing on them. The Kids The single most important goal I have is to get my kids through this. That means helping them establish a footing in this new world they've found themselves in. I think it's important that we establish solid routines and that I provide a more ridged structure for them. Autistic kids thrive on routine and structure, because it's predictable. I have goals for each of the kids that are unique to each one of them. Just as an example: Emmett hasn't slept in his own bed since August 10th. I don't mind him…

I made it through what I thought was going to be a difficult night. I'm so glad the kids can go visit their mom but at the same time, I hate that any of this is even necessary in the first place. I don't know what to do without them. I'm almost never alone and haven't been for damn near twenty years. All of a sudden I find myself with no one around me and it's uncomfortable. Maybe that sounds weird. Having said that, I feel like I had a pretty good night. I ordered a pizza and watched a couple of movies. I did some work around the house before calling it a night. My brain still can't wrap itself around everything that's happened. I understand as much as…