Lizze and the boys are in bed. I'm with my parents and siblings, sitting with my grandfather. This is fucking awful and it's so hard to bare witness to someone leaving this life. We sat the boys down and explained what was happening. They were able to visit with him but Emmett is taking it really hard. Elliott is internalizing everything at the moment but he will likely breakdown as soon as he let's his guard down. Gavin is completely obvious and unaffected. I took everyone home a couple hours ago and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'll probably eventually go home but it doesn't feel right to do that. When my grandmother passed away fifteen years ago, Lizze and I left the hospital and didn't make…

I got up this morning and headed to my parents house to sit with my grandpa. It sucks watching someone slowly pass away but if I have to find a silver lining, it would be that I'm reconnecting with cousins I've not seen in a very long time. As awful as all of this is, it's brought all of us together. When my grandmother passed away, over ten years ago, we just sorta drifted apart. It was really nice to see everyone that I've not seen in a really long time. Anyway, the boys are with Lizze's parents for right now. Lizze is now home, trying to hide from all forms of light. Her migraine woke her up very early this morning and has been relentless today. I'm spending as…

I welcomed the new year alone and battling insomnia. Lizze pooped out about 9 PM, shortly after the boys went to bed. It wasn't exactly how I wanted to ring in the new year but there were reasons why I was okay with it. Lizze going to bed at 9 PM, when we had plans to celebrate the new year together could sorta be annoying. Unfortunately, she's been struggling with sleep lately and working hard to get back on a healthy sleep cycle. Her falling asleep at 9 PM is a very positive thing and frankly, it's a massive relief to know she's actually getting sleep, when she should be getting sleep. I watched a few episodes of Supernatural and did some writing. Sleep eluded me for a couple of…

As I'm writing this, there's only a few more hours left in 2018. As the new year has gotten closer, I've been reflecting on some of the things that have happened this year. It's been a mixed bag for sure but I'd like to think that 2018 was better than 2017, and in many ways it was. There have been moments of heartache and loss as we've said goodbye to loved ones who've passed on. A few hours ago, I got off the phone with my mother, who informed me that hospice has been called in for my grandfather. He's been living with my parents for awhile now and we've known this moment was coming but I'm not ready, not that anyone ever is. 😔 We've had several major health…