I’m quickly running out of shits to give

I'm not going to sugar coat this folks. I'm really struggling right now. We've been on lockdown since March 6th, when Elliott got sick and was diagnosed with Influenza B. That just sorta rolled into the COVID19 lockdown and we're only just beginning this journey. The boys are on edge and I'm not sure how to really help them with that, aside from keeping them distracted and that's proving to be a challenge. In front of the kids, I'm a rock, but not so deep down inside, I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm sure that the kids have picked up on that to some extent but I go to exhaustive lengths to hide that from them. It's well, pretty damn exhausting. I'm trying to balance a million different things right…

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What it’s like to be on #COVID19 lockdown with 3 #Autistic kids, 1 being #immunocompromised

We've had an interesting fourth day of lockdown. For the most part, the kids are doing well. Everyone is healthy and in relatively good spirits. Thank God. I thought I would share a bit of insight into what it's like to be a single Dad on lockdown, with three Autistic kids and one at very high risk. Here's just a few of my current challenges. They extend well beyond my worrying about food, water and provisions. It's well beyond worrying about paying my bills or even working from home. One of the challenges I am facing, aside from the COVID19 pandemic outside my door, is that my kids are not adjusting to home learning very well. Since school work isn't optional, they have to get it done whether they want…

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Trying to survive a pandemic isn’t helping my battle with #Depression, like at all

I started writing this last night but thankfully, fell asleep before I could publish it. Trying not to panic is one of my main goals as we hunker down and wait out the pandemic. Tonight, however, I feel scared and alone. I know this is going to sound weird, but I spent a great deal of time as a firefighter and paramedic. I did some training with FEMA, as well as training for mass casualty incidents. Thankfully, I never had to use that training, but over the years, I would run through scenarios in my head and figure out how I would manage them should they ever arise. In every single one of those scenarios, my family was whole, and we worked together to make it through. Not one time…

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Social Distancing Is Difficult But Necessary

We woke up to a dead fish in our aquarium this morning. The kids were very sad to find it belly up, after having for so many years now. I think having any fish for a few years is actually pretty notable. The aquarium received a thorough cleaning. We discovered that the water heater was broken and that probably contributed to things. A replacement is ordered. I want to try and focus on specific tasks each day. Now is a great time to catch the kids up on life skills they're currently lacking and hopefully, that will help the house run smoother. I think today's focus will be on laundry. Even if I don't get everything washed today, I want everything to get organized. Being organized will help make the…

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I have few ideas

Everyone needs a distraction from the reality that every single human being has found themselves in right now. Things are getting scary and they're going to get worse before they get better. At least that what the experts say. It really is scary and as I'm writing, my brain is playing out a thousand different scenarios and how I will respond to each one of them. What I thought I would do is really focus more on writing and recording. That will serve a dual purpose. First of all, it's therapeutic for me. Secondly, perhaps reading about how someone else is coping with this craziness, can serve as a distraction for others or at least a reminder that they aren't alone. We all feel lost and uncertain right now because…

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We survived our 1st day of lockdown

Today was our first offical day of lockdown. More cases of COVID19 are popping up around us and we need be very, very careful, especially for Gavin's sake. Today has proven to be very challenging. The kids were pretty wound up and understandably so. Unfortunately, that's driving me a bit crazy and by a bit crazy, I mean they're driving me nuts. In order to not lose my mind and be a halfway decent Dad, I'm trying to keep us occupied. Distraction is a necessary tool when raising kids on the spectrum and luckily I'm quite experienced in this area. I've tried to keep everyone busy and keep their minds on things other than the frightening pandemic. The boys new mattresses came in and we were able to get those…

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Just a quick update

Everyone is going a little stir crazy right now. We've had the flu in our house for the last week or so and haven't really left the house. Now we're looking at the more and more cases popping up in Ohio, so we have no plans to venture anywhere for the time being. Elliott and Emmett got their new mattresses today. We got them setup already and they seem to really like them. I ended up going with Casper. I'm hoping this encourages Emmett to return to his own bed at night. Gavin's doing well and for that I'm incredibly grateful. I heard from the school this morning and they have prepared what they call Blizzard Bags. Apparently, this is supposed to keep the kids learning while school is shutdown.…

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School has been shutdown and that’s a good thing

We just got word that school will be closed until at least through the first week in April, by order of the governor. Apparently, they're still holding classes tomorrow and will be closed beginning Monday. The boys won't be going in the morning because they've been home all week with the flu. I'm glad they're shutting everything down and I can't imagine how they will reopen in 3 weeks when things will likely be exponentially worse than they are currently. I foresee the year being written off but I don't know what complications that will bring either. Maybe now would be a good time to switch to year round school. The kids are doing okay. We know we won't be leaving the house for awhile. We know that we won't…

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