Gavin / My thoughts

It’s like being throat punched back into reality

Lizze and I made arrangements to take Gavin to see a movie this afternoon. The boys went to their grandparents for a few hours after school, in order to make this possible.   I was really excited to have the three of us spend some time together outside the house and Gavin loves movies.  As we were pulling into the parking lot of the theater, my heart sank.  Gavin informed us that his friends are going to meet us there. We asked how they were going to pay for tickets.  Gavin explained that he has a contact that works in the theater and that contact makes all the arrangements for his friends. I call them (but never to his face) his invisible group of super best friends because I have to…

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November 19, 2016
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Will you stand with me? 

While I avoid politics on this site, I feel compelled to take a stand and use my platform to share a message that I hope with resonate with my readers.  I don't care who you voted for in this election. Right or wrong, I believe that we each voted for someone we felt would do right by our country and its citizens. Time will tell if the right person was chosen.  In the meantime, I would like to ask that we not let our differences keep us apart.  I'm saddened to see the direction this once great country has taken over this recent presidential campaign. I've seen more hate, racism, bigotry and intolerance than I had thought still existed, at least in the United States.  Maybe I was naive because…

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November 18, 2016
Elliott

Today’s Victory: One big reason I’m proud of my son

I want to take a few minutes and share how proud I am of Elliott. I'm proud of all my kids, sometimes for different reasons but those reasons are endless.  Today I want to talk about how Elliott has overcome something that he wanted nothing to do with.  We had signed the boys up for the after school program, at Emmett's request. After talking to Dr. Pattie, it was decided that it was best to make Elliott participate as well because he needs and would benefit from the experience.  Elliott was very, very against this and didn't shy away from telling us all about it.  Having now gone three or four times, he's now actually enjoying himself and while he won't admit it, he wants to keep going.  I'm so…

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November 17, 2016
Emmett John / Meltdowns / My thoughts

I don’t have any shits left to give today 

I was going to try and find some witty way of doing this post. I was going to try and find some humor in it because I'm trying to be positive. Unfortunately, I just can't make that happen without being totally disingenuous and I'm not going to do that.  Today has been a trial of patience for both Lizze and myself. It's only 8:30am and I'm already done for the day.  Here's the deal...  Emmett woke up in a good mood. He woke up early and climbed into our bed to snuggle. Who isn't up to snuggle one of their kids in the morning? In fact, I thought to myself, oh thank God he's in a good mood today because that will make for a good morning.  Unfortunately, that prediction…

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November 17, 2016
Bad News / Clozapine / Gavin

I have bad news about Gavin

As I shared earlier, Gavin had an appointment today with Dr.Reynolds, his psychiatrist for over an decade.  The trip to this appointment was incredibly difficult for Gavin because his bladder issues were ramped up and causing him a great deal of distress. Thankfully he made it without incident..  His appointment went as well as it could, considering why we were there. We were there to both follow up on meds and discuss Gavin's current status. I'm going to try and make this short and sweet.  We talked about how Gavin's delusions and hallucinations are as strong as ever. There isn't a significant difference between his status while on 600mg of Clozapine and what it is now while on 800mg of Clozapine per day.  This is a scary thing for many…

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November 17, 2016
Emmett John / Meltdowns / Sensory / Shoes and Socks

Zero to Meltdown

I talked this morning about how awesome it was that the boys got themselves dressed and ready for school before we even woke up. That's all very true and something I'm quite proud of them for.  Unfortunately, that's where the good news ends and the meltdowns begin.  Emmett was fine until it became time to put something on his feet. He's been wearing slippers to school without socks for about a week or so but for some reason, he wasn't able to tolerate them today.  He went from having a great morning to an ear drum shattering meltdown in nothing flat.  We finally ended up settling on flip flops but packed his slippers and a pair of socks should he change his mind.  The whole thing lasted roughly twenty minutes…

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November 16, 2016
Gavin

Gavin was convinced he was bleeding from his eyes tonight 

Earlier today, Lizze and I were catching up on the show Elementary. In this particular episode, they were trying to solve a murder that involved snake venom.  The victims were bleeding from their eyes before they died.  Gavin steped into the room as this happened and freaked out before walking back out. I didn't really think anything of it because Gavin freaks out over things like this all the time. He simply leaves the room and comes back later on. No big deal.  Nothing else was said about this the rest of the day, until about an hour after bedtime.   Gavin came downstairs, convinced he was bleeding from his eyes. He said that every time he closed his eyes, it felt like they were bleeding... This was pretty strange…

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November 16, 2016