I'm still waiting for Gavin's lab results to come in. I hate these waits and I wish we could receive the results directly from the lab, rather than wait for the doctor to call. It's not like we need anything interpreted. I simply need to know what his numbers are. Waiting for answers like this is unbelievably stressful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I took Gavin to get his bloodwork done this morning. We are checking the cell line levels across the board. It's been about two weeks since his last labs were drawn and I'm nervous about learning the results. One of the reasons we're checking today is because Gavin was sick this week. He was actually really sick. He's also not been feeling well on and off throughout the week. I'm praying his numbers are maintaining because this poor kid has been through way too much and deserves to catch a break. We won't know anything for at least a few hours and that's going to feel like an eternity.
It was a rough night but we got through it. I was supposed to walk this morning but I forgot about Gavin's blood work. Instead of walking, I'm probably going to work out instead. We have no plans for today because we are trying to process the events from yesterday. I'm hoping that we can have a nice quiet day and find a way to get through this as a family. ☺
I turned 39 yesterday and I want to thank everyone for all the well wishes. I truly appreciate it. I've never been one that was bothered by birthdays or getting older. If you ask Lizze, she'll tell you she sometimes feels like she has four kids. That being said, this is a big one and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Have you ever read There's a monster at the end of this book? It's a kids book staring Grover from Sesame Street. The story is about Grover thinking there was a monster at the end of the book. Each page was a desperate plea to get the reader to stop reading. If the reader didn't continue reading, pages wouldn't be turned and the end of the book…
The boys left for my parents house about lunchtime today, and Lizze and I had a quiet afternoon. Neither one of us was looking forward to what 2:30 PM would require us to do. We've been dreading this day and the pain we knew it was going to inflict on all of us, but some things are outside of our control. It's difficult to know just how much an animal can impact our lives until the moment we must say goodbye. Cleo has been a part of our family for over thirteen years and today we laid her to rest. Making the decision to put her to sleep was not one that came easily. We tried for months to get her passed what she was going through but sometimes things…
The boys have left for my parents house and It feels like a countdown until we head to the vet. This is not how I envisioned spending my birthday. The reason I'm writing is because I wanted to share a letter Elliott wrote yesterday while at school. This is a large part of the reason we didn't send them to school today. Elliott gave his permission to share this because he wants people to know how he's feeling. Below is the letter he wrote. Please be warned, it's absolutely heartbreaking to read. 😭
Lizze and I have decided to keep the boys home from school tomorrow. They're going to be a mess and there's no benefit to sending them. They will be going to my parents house for the afternoon. That's not going to take the pain away but they will be much more comfortable there than at school. This is going to be hard on everyone and knowing the boys will be with my parents is a comfort. I don't know if this is the right decision but it seems like the right thing to do.
The boys both came home from school today having not eaten anything the whole day. Elliott spent a part of the day crying, as did Emmett. They're really stressed out about losing Cleo. It hadn't occurred to me that Elliott and Emmett have never existed without Cleo. She's been a big part of their lives for their entire lives. I hadn't thought about that before now. This is a much bigger deal from them than I was originally thinking. Cleo was there for them during the separation, and if you recall, Emmett used to snuggle her like a teddy bear. She would tolerate it until he fell asleep and she would sneak away without waking him up. For the first time in their entire lives, they will go to sleep…