Bipolar Archives - Page 154 of 340

Autism Parenting Confessions / My thoughts

What will happen to my kids with #Autism when I’m gone?

I've really been struggling with the idea of turning 40 on Friday. In fact, I've been struggling so much, that I've been telling everyone my birthday is on Thursday when Emmett pointed out to me last night, that it's actually Friday. There are countless reasons that anyone would stress out about hitting the big 4 - 0 but for me, there's one reason in particular that's eating away at me. To be honest, I've only realized this because of the back and forth I've been having with some of my readers. Hearing others people's thoughts helps me put mine into frame. My struggle isn't about getting older, feeling older or even looking older. It's not about a mid-life crisis or that I'm second guessing my life choices, although to be…

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August 21, 2018

A chaotic but successful morning

It was a somewhat chaotic morning but we got out the door and off to the first day or school without too many problems. Emmett was clearly very anxious to get to school on time and by contrast, Elliott was more relaxed on the outside but anxious on the inside. Anyway, we had a successful morning and the boys are now safely back in school.

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August 21, 2018

My thoughts

These 2 things were reminders today that the world is bigger than me and my problems

So I went walking tonight, as I'm doing almost every single night. I'm averaging about 60 miles a month and it feels pretty good. For the record, I weighed in at 308.4 lbs today and that's down from 340 lbs. I would say that most of this weight has come off in the last few months. I'm trying to make it a slow and steady process because if I do, it's more likely to be sustainable long term. Anyway, the last couple of times I've walked have proven to be pretty cool. Aside from the exercise, I have had some interesting experiences. The other day, while walking, this deer just walks across the track in front of me. It calmly walks passed all the people and cars, like it didn't…

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August 21, 2018

Elliott / Emmett John / My thoughts / School

We had orientation tonight

Orientation went great tonight. We were there for all of about thirty minutes in total, but it was a quality thirty minutes. ☺ Anyway, we met the boys teachers, most we knew already but some we met for the first time. There are some cool changes this school year, the biggest being that they will have martial arts every day. Emmett's loving that. Elliott, not so much. I feel like we're in a good place to start the school year. I'm not sure what how things will actually pan out but I feel comfortable that the kids are comfortable. Emmett's a bit nervous but he's also very excited. Elliott's just excited, at least on the surface. He may be nervous on the inside and we just don't know it yet.…

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August 21, 2018

Common Variable Immunodeficiency / Gavin / Immunology / IVIG Infusion / My thoughts

Gavin did an amazing job this morning

Gavin did a really good job this morning in regards to his IVIG infusion. He got up early and put it together, woke me up in order to check it and then completed the procedure without any help. For me personally, that's a great way to start the week because so often he struggles with these anymore and a bad infusion sets a tone for the week. Great job Gavin.. Keep up the hard work and keep moving forward.

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August 20, 2018

My thoughts

It’s a Monday and today doesn’t totally suck

We have orientation in a couple hours and the I'm still working on laundry. I should have what I need done so the boys have clothes to wear tonight or rather they have the clothes they want to wear for tonight. I'm a bit on edge cause I haven't heard back from these new advertisers but that doesn't mean anything. Oftentimes, they are in different time zones and when it's day here, it's night there. So... I have two other job possibilities and one of them does seem to be rather likely. That would be great news for us and also make my platform more attractive to other advertisers. What I really, really need is a new sponsor. My last sponsorship expired about a year ago. Generally speaking, a sponsorship…

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August 20, 2018

Autism Parenting Confessions / My thoughts

#Depression, #Autism Parenting and Turning 40 are not a good combination

As I mentioned in the previous post, there's an enormous pink elephant in the room right now and it's better known as my 40th birthday. I turn 40 years old on Thursday, August 24th and I'm struggling. I just realized that I've been an Autism for almost half of my life. That's a bit overwhelming to think about, so I just won't. ☺ Let me begin by saying that I've decided not to discontinue my last remaining antidepressant right now because I'm concerned it might be a bad idea, especially due to the headspace I find myself in. Turing 40 is supposed to be a big deal and it is in many ways. In other ways it's just another day. As it is, the fates, life and a few other…

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August 20, 2018

My thoughts

There are too many things to worry about this week

I'm really stressed out and in an absolutely horrible mood tonight. This is going to be a challenging week for me on a number of levels and I'm not getting off to a good start. First and foremost, the kids are going to be adjusting to the new school year starting. They're both excited but anxiety is high because it's a change and there's many unknowns. We can expect many meltdowns. I'm sad to see them go back because I love having the kids around all the time but they need the routine and we need the break. The free time is going to be spent on Gavin because we have things to figure out and we need to put together a plan in order to address them. At the…

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August 20, 2018