I’ve been focusing on my failures a lot lately 

I've been focusing a great deal on my failures lately, as the title of this post states but I'm not doing this intentionally.. I could be wrong but I suspect many of us (single and or special needs parents) do the same thing from time to time. Frankly, it's kinda hard not to, especially when you know that you can't always or ever for that matter, meet your kids needs.  I can't easily explain what it feels like to know that you will never be enough to meet all of your special needs child's needs. It really isn't even a shortcoming because sometimes their needs are so demanding that it's just not possible to meet all of them..     That's a pretty logical argument but there's no logic when it…

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I probably need more help than I’m getting 

I had a really bad night, amounting to less than 2 hours of sleep. Emmett got up extremely early and was not going back to bed.  The boys let me nap this morning and I'm grateful for that beyond words because I couldn't even get my eyes to focus. I'm lucky because as long as I'm right there, I can close my eyes for a short period of time without the universe imploding. I say I'm lucky because not everyone will even get that.. 😟 The sleep that I did get was shrouded in a disorienting theme that I'm struggling with, long after they ceased to be.     Truthfully, I probably need to get a bit more help with this than I am and perhaps I'll be better able to…

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Gavin had his first meltdown in almost a year :(

While at therapy tonight, Gavin was building with this castle set. It wasn't going together easily and he began to get frustrated.  I asked him if he was okay and suggested he take a break.  Gavin got really upset and started standing on the side of his ankles, if you can picture that. When he does this, it looks like his foot was just snapped off.  Anyway, he was starting to hit himself but nothing too serious.  I tried to de-escalate the situation but the meltdown engine had already turned over.  This is scary for me because I'm beginning to see him slipping more and more. On the positive side and much to Gavin's credit, this wasn't anything super significant.  Dr. Pattie and I eventually back out of it and…

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#Autism In Real Life: How Anxiety Impacts Decision Making

My goal is to help people better understand the impact of Autism on a daily basis. I use my family as an example and while no two people are alike, many of us face similar challenges. This is my sweet Emmett.  We were going to have a special dinner before therapy tonight and I was letting the boys pick out a frozen dinner. Emmett went for the Kid Cuisines because that's his favorite.  What you see in the video below is what happens every single time he has to make a decision about anything.  He panics because he can't decide and is afraid of making the wrong decision. This absolutely interferes with everyday life and makes things extremely challenging.. I never get angry with him because he's doing the best…

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Today’s Victory: Putting Others First

This is a bit early for a Today's Victory but I was so impressed that I pulled the trigger and gave the award to Mr. Gavin.  We all know how picky Emmett is about everything in his life and if you don't, he's really, really, really, really picky. I'm talking so picky that it's very often, literally impossible to meet his needs, especially when it comes to food.  Emmett's in a fever flare and so he's eating a lot of ice cream and Popsicles because his mouth hurts so badly.  He's so picky about the color of the Popsicles and the condition they're in. For example, if the Popsicle is bent, cracked or otherwise imperfect, he won't be able to eat it.  Gavin asked for a Popsicle this afternoon and…

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The Weird Shit I Catch My Kids Doing: 40ft rubber band 

I've been chatting with some of my readers and they really liked this particular topic.  Sometimes you just have to find the humor in a situation or else you will lose your mind. That's the whole point of Weird Shit Wednesday or #wsw.  Here's this Wednesday's submission from me.  The other day Emmett had secretly been working on a project in his room. When I was up stairs in the bathroom, he decided it was time to  unveil his secret creation. lol My little mad scientist created a giant 40 ft rubber band rope out of teeny tiny rainbow loom rubber bands.  It serves no purpose other than stretching from the front of the house to the back of the house.  Emmett's certainly proud of himself though. ❤️   Please join…

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I think I might be able to sneak a nap this morning 

For the most part, the boys are doing pretty well this morning. I'm exhausted from yesterday and going on about 4 hours of sleep.  While I'm grateful for the 4 hours, it's just not enough after an emotionally draining day like yeasterday.  I'm going to try for a nap this morning because I just can't see myself making it the rest of the day without recharging my batteries. This is one of those things I need to do in order to be better for the boys..    

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I’m open to the days possibilities

The day began at 7am with everyone in a pretty good mood.. I don't believe we have much going on in the way of errands today. The boys have therapy tonight with Dr. Pattie and that's about it.  I would love to get caught up on some writing today and maybe some laundry. I'm still really tired because I didn't sleep well but I'm in a good mood and open to the day's possibilities.    

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