Yeah, this is working out so well 

I'm so not in a place to be around people right now. I tried but it's just not working out for me. Everything is setting me off because I'm so incredibly sensitive at the moment. People don't always realize how painful the end of a marriage can be for a husband who's heartbroken.  I removed myself for a bit to write because I was seriously going to explode. Not holding out much hope right now of salvaging the day. Not sure if I'm going to make it the entire time...  💔   

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We’re off to celebrate my birthday

It's been a really good morning so far. Okay, actually I meant afternoon.. 😜 Anyway, the boys and I will be off to my parents house for an August birthday's celebration. If you didn't already know, my birthday is in August and more specifically tomorrow.  The weathers beautiful out and the temperatures just right.  While this is going to be difficult for me on an emotional level, I'm damn sure going to make the best of it. While life has taken some unexpected turns of late, it hasn't stopped altogether and I need to move forward. 😀   

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It can be so exhausting to be patient with your special needs child :(

It's heartbreaking but I have to reel in some of Gavin's independence:( Gavin's current capacity is such that I have no choice but to start taking away some of the independence he has earned over the last year.  I've said a few times recently that I'm seeing regression once again.  This is kind of the status quo for Gavin. He will do really well and then begin to regress again. Clearly this is an ongoing issue.  For most of the last year, I've had Gavin responsible for his medications, for the most part anyway. He would take them when it was time and most often remembered to do so on his own.  Last night he informed me that he had not taken his inhaler while at his Mom's house because…

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I’m soooo tired this morning 

I didn't get more than about 2 hours of sleep last night. My brain just wouldn't shut off and when I finally did fall asleep around 3am, Emmett was up at 4am. Tired doesn't even begin to explain how I'm feeling this morning.  I'm going to try to get a nap but I don't know if that will be possible...    

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It’s gonna be emotionally difficult for me today

My birthday is on Monday but because my family is so large, we sorta lump all the August birthdays together and celebrate on one day.  That day is today..  There's a great deal of emotion surrounding this me and I don't know if I'll be able to hold it together. I know life goes on and I have a lot of life to eventually get to but it's hard.  I don't know if this makes sense to anyone but I'm gonna try anyway.  I'm not hung up on my wife. I don't miss her, at least who she is now and I know from the bottom of my heart, that the boys and I are better off. I know that.  At the same time, I feel this tremendous loss that…

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I’m frustrated with Gavin tonight

I'm frustrated with Gavin for a couple of reasons. Elliott informed me that the boys were picking out snacks while they were at their overnight visit.  Gavin picked out some hazelnut cookie stick things.  Elliott didn't realize that they were Gavin's at the time and asked if he could have one. He was told that they were Gavin's and he would have to ask him.  Apparently, when Elliott asked Gavin if he could have one, Gavin told his Grandma that Elliott was allergic to hazelnut and couldn't have one or some thing like that.  That was simply not true. Elliott is not allergic to hazelnut and never has been. He's only been allergic to almonds but for awhile, we had to avoid tree nuts all together. That restriction though, has…

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The boys are home from their overnight visitation 

The boys just got home from their overnight visit with their Mom. So far so good. 😀 Everyone seems to be doing okay and I haven't heard any complaints. Emmett walked in the house, found Cleo the cat and immediately curled up with her on the couch. He's unusually quiet but he's also still not feel well either.  It's going to be a quiet night. I don't think we're going to do anything but chill-out.  I'm liking the fact that no one is crying or complaining about how things went. I know their Mom was not feeling well so this may have been more of a weekend with Grandma.  Regardless.. I'm happy that they're happy.. 😀   

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