The day began at 7am with everyone in a pretty good mood.. I don't believe we have much going on in the way of errands today. The boys have therapy tonight with Dr. Pattie and that's about it. I would love to get caught up on some writing today and maybe some laundry. I'm still really tired because I didn't sleep well but I'm in a good mood and open to the day's possibilities.
I don't have to explain how difficult it can be to get a child with Autism and/or Sensory Processing Disorder to most of you because you live it everyday. This type of food proclivities run rampant in The Autism Dad household and meal times are very challenging as a result. It's for this reason that I'm celebrating what I consider a major victory tonight. Emmett is so difficult to feed, especially when he's in the midst of a fever flare. Last night was no exception. He hasn't been eating very much lately and I'm worried about him. Last night I had everyone figured out but Emmett. He had no idea what he wanted for dinner and after the meltdown, he'd pretty much given up on eating. Honestly, it's a…
We met with Dr. Pattie for therapy again today. Our main focus is on trying to help the boys stabilize after everything with their Mother. To be fair, some of these issues were present before she left but her leaving exacerbated everything as well as create new problems. I'm so overwhelmed by the boys anymore and stabilizing them often feels like a pipe dream. I'm not angry with the boys or anything like that because in my opinion, they're victims of a trauma that they're ill equipped to cope with. It's not their fault but that doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier. They each have their own unique struggles but they also have some in common as well. All three of the boys are having bathroom issues…
One of the downsides to Akron Children's Hospital taking over where Emmett's physical therapy is being done, is that they have banned parents from taking videos of their kids in action. They have signs up everywhere that say no videotaping allowed. From now on, you'll have to just trust me when I say that Emmett kicked major butt at therapy today. Can he do everything he needs to be able to do? Absolutely not.. That being said, he gives 110% each and every time. He did really well today. He had to do a few things he's never done before and he struggled at first. I sorta pulled him aside and told him to pay attention to the pattern because he functions largely on patterns.. That did it for him…
The next few weeks are going to be very difficult for me. I'm an emotional person and it's not easy for me to let go of the things I truly love. Milestone One August 24th will be my 37th birthday and the first of three milestones. I've celebrated every single one of my birthdays, since 2001, with my wife. Even if we couldn't afford to really do anything special, we were still together and that was all I really needed. This time however, I'll be on my own and don't really know what to do. I don't care how this makes me sound and truthfully, I don't miss the person my wife has become. I do however, miss what I thought I had terribly. Milestone Two About a week…
Last night I was filtering throu my Dropbox to find pictures for my Instagram. I wasn't really thinking I guess because I found pictures that I just don't know what to do with anymore. The pictures in question are of my wife and I before she left. I wouldn't get rid of the pictures of her and the kids because the boys might want to see them someday. The pictures taken of just my wife and I are really painful to see. When I see them, everything that has happened just sorta washes away and I wish I could be in that moment once again. I don't know what to do with these memories frozen in time.. Keeping them seems pointless because they'll never happen again but throwing them…
I was so incredibly tired last night. I climbed into bed, well before midnight and planned on just passing out and relishing the extra sleep I was going to be giving myself. Unfortunately, that sleep never arrived until many hours later. I laid in bed and closed my eyes but my brain just wouldn't shutdown. Every single thing in my life that causes me stress or worry was being processed last night. I couldn't stop thinking about my divorce, how it's impacting the boys and my constant worry about Gavin's worsening symptoms. It seems like such a cruel twist of fate to be so tired and yet unable to sleep.
It was a really difficult day but that doesn't mean there isn't anything for me to be grateful for... Sometimes when your a special needs parent and despite your best efforts, you just can't tip the scales in your direction. This happens quite a bit in my life but on those days, I don't focus on what I couldn't do. The truth is that sometimes, the biggest victory of all is that you physically and emotionally survived the day.. 😉