Family Archives - Page 11 of 553

The ups and downs of 2020

We're going to have a quiet evening tonight as we ring in the new year. We have no plans for anything other than maybe watching some movies and spending time together. I ordered dinner for us and it should be dropped off shortly. It's one of those days that I'm really struggling to keep my head above water. I'm frustrated. I'm overwhelmed. I'm spent. I feel like this is quite possibly the loneliest I've ever been in my life. I've mentioned before that I'm a sentimental person and this is one of those times where I feel the loss of my marriage. It's just one of those things and I struggle a bit on these days. As time passes these moments won't be so impactful and I'll make new memories.…

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January 1, 2021

My thoughts

Can you guess why it’s so hard for me to sleep?

I've been talking about how tough it's been to sleep at night when Emmett is dealing with separation anxiety. The last few days he's been doing really well in regards to sleeping in his own bed. Last night was a bit of a struggle. He ultimately made it into his own bed but he had to fall asleep in my room first. If you ask him why he needs to sleep in my room, he'll say something along the lines of he feels more comfortable. Sometimes it's because he has a string of nightmares that really upset him. Yet on other occasions, he's said that he's afraid that if he's not glued to me at night, he's going to wake up in the morning and I'll have left in the…

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December 27, 2020

My thoughts

Please keep Emmett in your thoughts

Emmett's in a bad way. He's hit a fever flare and this one is particularly painful. His first mouth sore popped up two days ago and there are likely more to follow. The poor kid is in a tremendous amount of pain and there's not much I can do to help. We've doubled up on his antivirals and he's swishing with salt water. There are more that will likely pop up over the next few days and he's going to be even more miserable than he already is. I was originally going to close things off here with something about having to order ice cream for him because it helps numb the sores. Unfortunately, as I was writing this Emmett came into my room in a panic. He was holding…

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December 19, 2020

My thoughts

I totally got this

I want to recognize that I accomplished one of my goals for 2020. I set out to record 40 episodes for season 3 of my podcast and improve upon season 2. Today I dropped episode 40 and I'm done until next year. It feels so good to have accomplished this, especially considering l the obstacles. I've already got interviews booked for January and that's awesome. It took a little longer to get this last one out cause it's been a rough weekend but I was only about 48 hours late. ☺ The kids have been on edge today. We're getting closer to Christmas and the anxiety is building, as is the anticipation. This is historically a challenging time in our house, even when everything else is going well. Everyone's sleep…

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December 14, 2020

Confessions / Depression Management / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

I want to talk to you about my #depression

It has occurred to me that I haven't talked about my depression much lately. I talk about to people who reach out offline quite a bit and I sometimes forget to do that here as well. One of the reasons this occurred to me is because I noticed today that I'm struggling a little more than I have been in regards to managing my depression. I think everyone deals with life differently and depression hits people in different ways as well. We're all different and that's okay. For me personally, I know depression is once again gaining a foothold in my life when I begin worrying about dying. It's not easy for me to admit that because there's only a few people in my life that are aware of this…

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December 9, 2020

My thoughts

Fingers crossed that I sleep tonight

You know what? It's actually been a pretty good day. Obviously, it wasn't perfect or stress free but I don't think those days even exist. I feel like we made some progress around the house and for the most part, the kids got along with each other. I'm always grateful for that and it helps to maintain a positive tone for the day. It's amazing how something so simple can change the demeanor in the house. I didn't get a whole lot of work done but I've written twice and that hasn't happened in forever. That's big for me and it's progress. This week I need to focus on finishing up episode 39 and before Wednesday. That should be relatively easy, assuming the boys let me have the time needed…

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November 22, 2020

My thoughts

It’s 2:40 am and I’m too stressed to sleep

It's been a rough day in our house. My tank is pretty much on empty and the kids have been such a handful lately. I'm exhausted and coming up short in the patience department. Currently, it's almost 3am and I still can't fall asleep because it's been such a stressful day. I can't seem to shut my brain off. The kids have been at each other's throats all day. Emmett and Gavin were fighting and I was done with it. I sent them downstairs to call their mom and have her help them resolve whatever they were fighting over. It didn't end well and made things infinitely worse but Lizze did what she could from a distance. The kids needed a physical intervention and that of course, can't be done…

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November 22, 2020

Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

That’s what makes you awesome

I don't know if you're new here or not but in case you are, you should know that I see a therapist every Wednesday. I feel like it's important to share that because there's too much stigma surrounding therapy. My therapist is awesome and she's helping me to deal with everything I've been through. I feel like I'm doing okay. I've moved on from my marriage ending and I no longer carry that pain around. Therapy has really helped with that. Unfortunately, some things can't be learned in therapy and are only learned through life experience. I've not written like this in a long time but I just feel like I need to dig down and put my thoughts into words. There's a lot of stress associated with being an…

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November 19, 2020