New Beginnings Archives - Page 6 of 9

I’m a raw nerve today

I've talked about having good days and bad days. I've spoken about healing the open wounds and it's all a process. I thought I was actually doing pretty good until this morning. Today is definitely a bad day for me. It's one of those days where I feel like a raw nerve. Everything is getting to me and I feel like I'm drowning. Elliott came home from school sick. He's not physically ill but is so stressed out that he feels sick just the same. Lizze and I are working together to help him through this. That's absolutely a positive thing but even so, it's not a quick fix. It's a process. I'm so overwhelmed by everything today and not seeing an end in sight. At the same time, I…

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August 29, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

I’m trying to emotionally prepare myself for what’s ahead of me today

It's going to be a busy day. You already know the kids are home from school because they're struggling a great deal right now. That is taking up the bulk of my morning.. Around noon, I'm taking the kids to my parents house, so I can run a few errands. I have some difficult but necessary things I must undertake this afternoon and I'm not looking forward to any of them. There several divorce related things I must take care of today, and that's not going to be easy. Coming to terms with this is going to be a process that takes time. I wasn't prepared for any of this in the least and so I'm still dealing with the shock. There are things I will talk about and things…

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August 27, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore

We had a pretty decent night last night. I'm trying to get us into a routine because the more structure I can provide for my kids, the better off they're going to be. Kids with Autism thrive on structure, routine and predictability. At the moment, their lives are chaos and that's making a bad situation worse. Both Elliott and Emmett were struggling this morning, especially Elliott. Elliott's a mess right now and had a difficult time sleeping because he was so worried about school today. I don't know what the right thing to do here is and all I can do is that I feel is best in the moment. It's for that reason, I kept the kids home today. Having said that, there's a plan in place to help…

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August 27, 2019

Elliott / Emmett John / My thoughts / New Beginnings

Things didn’t go so well at school

I know in an earlier post, I was optimistic about Elliott making it through the day at school. Here's the background on that. Unfortunately, Elliott left school very upset this afternoon. He wanted to come home but didn't speak up because he didn't want to disrupt his class. I'm not sure what that's all about. When I called the school after dropping him off, and convincing him to stay in the morning, it was a no news is good news kinda thing.. Elliott and Emmett were both still in class and they hadn't asked to go home. If they had, their teachers would have immediately sent them to the office so they could call me. Emmett did fine but as I said, Elliott was very upset. I don't know what…

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August 26, 2019

Divorce / My thoughts / New Beginnings

I thought I’d share some important goals I’ve set for myself as we rebuild our lives

Things have been a bit heavy lately and so I thought I would change things up a bit and talk about some of the goals I'm setting for myself going forward. First and foremost, my main goal is to keep the kids above water until they can swim on their own. That goes without saying, but I said it anyway. I want to make our home as comfortable and accessible for them as I possibly can. That means some work needs to be done but not too much because of another goal a few paragraphs from now. One of my main goals is to make sure I take care of myself. It's so easy to become overcome by grief or get lost in helping my kids, that I forget to…

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August 26, 2019

Elliott / Emmett John / My thoughts / New Beginnings

I’m feeling a little better about today

I know we had a rough morning because I was there. That said, I'm feeling a little better about things because I'm seeing some positives. First of all, Gavin's IVIG infusion went very well. He's struggling to do it himself, and for right now, I'm not going to push him. It's easier if I do it for him, at least for the time being. There was no leaking today and I believe it took less than an hour to complete. By comparison, last Friday's infusion took over four hours. This is definitely a positive thing. Second, I called the school to check on the boys, and they seem to be doing okay. Both boys have been in their respective classrooms, and there's been no contact with the office, meaning the…

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August 26, 2019

Elliott / Emmett John / My thoughts / New Beginnings

We’ve had an absolutely heartbreaking morning

I've mentioned many times in regards to my wife leaving that the kids and I are going to have good days and we're going to have bad days. Over the last couple of weeks, we've been lucky enough to have more good days than bad. Unfortunately, today is a bad one. Our morning started out well, and then it very quickly fell apart. While getting ready for school, Emmett had a very emotional breakdown and became inconsolable. He screamed things about how we're a broken family and how other families are happy and having fun, while we're traumatized. Those are his words. He said a few other things but you get the point. He's demanding answers to things that only his mom can answer, but probably won't and rightfully so.…

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August 26, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

I wasn’t sure how this would turn out

We had a pretty good weekend, and I'm grateful for that. I survived my first birthday as a single Dad, and the boys had a pleasant visit with their mom. Those are all very positive things. While the boys we're gone, I worked on the house and made some decent progress. I also made it to the grocery store and picked up what I needed to make school lunches for the week. I've been making homemade pepperoni rolls out of pretzel rolls, and the kids love them. It's a nice change from pizza every day. When the boys got home from their visit, we put the pepperoni rolls together, and I baked them. It's nice letting them be a part of the process because they're more excited about it and…

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August 25, 2019