My thoughts Archives - Page 69 of 1481

I’m so frustrated with society right now

Today has truly been a mixed bag but at the end of the day, we're still here. I recorded my second interview today, since going on hiatus. I've put together a new setup that works so much better and it didn't cost me a penny. I was able to adjust the way I used existing equipment to dramatically improve the way I do things. It's going to makes things so much easier for me. I had the most fascinating conversation about summer learning with Matthew Boulay, PhD, and I'm hoping to have the episode ready in the next few weeks. The kids were so cooperative for the time I need to record and I'm so grateful for that. We spent some time playing video games together and while we tried…

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June 20, 2020

Artwork / Gavin / My thoughts

My #autistic kids can say and do the most random things

I promised Gavin I would get this out there tonight and it's currently 1:34 am EST and as my eyes are rolling into the back of my head, I'm determined not to let him down. This will however, be brief. ☺ Gavin absolutely kills me sometimes. Yes, he has his challenges and yes, I can become frustrated with certain behaviors. That pretty much makes me human and try not to beat myself up too much for that. At 20 years old, I've been raising Gavin as my own for 19 years now. He never ceases to amaze me. Gavin is hands down one of the kindest, most thoughtful, most gentle human beings I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. He just is. At the same time, he can say and…

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June 19, 2020

My thoughts

My terrible parenting moments

This is one of weaker parenting moments of late.

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June 18, 2020

My thoughts

A quick update

I've slowly been getting myself back into gear with the podcast. I've taken the last month off and it's been so much less stressful but at the same time, I miss doing it and really want to get things moving again. I've begun scheduling recordings this week and while I'm a little nervous, I'm also excited because I'm going to be adjust my setup in a way that will make this process much smoother. I'm not gonna lie. The downtime was really nice and there's a part of me that doesn't want to get this going again but I'll regret it if I don't. Anyway, I wanted to drop a super quick update on this cause it's been a little while. In other news, there's been a hiccup in the…

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June 17, 2020

My thoughts

The #meltdowns were awful today

Today's been a bit of a struggle for a number of reasons. The most obvious is the COVID19 stuff but today is also the one year anniversary of my grandmother's passing. I've been a bit distracted today so it didn't really hit me until bedtime. The kids found me crying in my room tonight and I had to remind them of what day it was, which created distress for them. It sucks losing family and she was the end of an entire generation. I really miss her. Gavin had a few blow outs today and I'm not sure what is going on with him. He doesn't remember about my grandma, or at least that today was a significant day. He's been decompensating due to everything happening around him, mainly the…

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June 16, 2020

COVID19 / Lockdown / My thoughts

We’ve been on #COVID-19 Lockdown for 100 Days

We hit a milestone today that was not on my 2020 bingo card. The kids and I have been on COVID-19 lockdown for 100 days now. When I say lockdown, I mean zero contact with anyone in 100 days. The only exception was the kids seeing their mom for two or three days after her household went on quarantine for two weeks. This has been a pretty strick lockdown due to the fact Gavin is immunocompromised. While I don't think he's necessarily more likely to catch it, he's more likely to have a negative outcome, therefore he's considered very high risk. I have to take this very, very seriously and so we've spent the last 100 days making sure that we are quarantined, so there is as little risk as…

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June 13, 2020

COVID19 / Gavin / Lockdown / My thoughts

I haven’t felt this overwhelmed in a long time

Over the last decade, this blog has evolved into whatever it is now. One of the things that have remained consistent throughout is the honesty with with I write. I may not write as much anymore and my writing isn't as inspiring as it once was, but it's just as honest as the day is long. I'm writing tonight because I feel like I'm failing in so many areas of my life. In fairness, I do realize that a large part of this is my depression talking but I'm pretty sure I'd feel like this anyway. It's been a particularly difficult day because I'm not handling Gavin very well. Gavin's in a very weird place right now and I don't know what's going on with him. He's regressing in a…

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June 13, 2020

My thoughts

I’m so grateful for yesterday

I fell asleep last night before I could finish writing and while that's a bit inconvenient, I'm grateful that I fell asleep. Sleep has been very problematic as of late. Anyway, the boys and I had a pretty good day. I think I mentioned that my lawn mower died after about 15 years of use and 8 had to order a new one. It was delivered yesterday afternoon and I was able to get the yard cut. It's fantastic and I can't wait for the grass to grow back so I can use it again. We spent some time cleaning out the garage and making a new home for the mower. I put our old one out by the curb and it was snatched up very quickly. I suppose it's…

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June 12, 2020