My thoughts Archives - Page 60 of 1480

It’s been an okay day

The boys have been having a quiet morning. The stress level in the house is down a bit and we're getting a breather. Lizze is filling out all the paperwork for the boys and then I'll get everything submitted. As soon as the school gets the paperwork, the boys will get their schedules and their Chromebooks. Lizze and her mom will pick everything up and drop it off as soon as it's ready. She wants to help and I'm grateful. Elliott snuggling Ruby Until we know more about Gavin's situation, we are locking down even tighter. Speaking of Gavin, I've not been able to get ahold of his immunologist all week. I've left messages and have not heard back. I hope everything is okay because they are in one of…

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August 28, 2020

We made a major decision about this school year

Let me start by saying, I hate everything about this school year. I hate how our kids and teachers have been put in impossible situations because our leadership won't take COVID seriously and do what needs be done in order to get us through this. That being said, we've made a major decision in regards to school for the boys. While I can go into more detail at a later time, Lizze and I agreed to pull the kids from their current school and put them back into their old school. After 2 weeks of technical issues, the kids literally crying and me on the brink of a fucking stroke, I decided this wasn't going to work. The reality is that the entirety of this responsibility falls on me. It's…

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August 28, 2020

Gavin / My thoughts

Please keep Gavin in your thoughts and prayers

I'm going to make this quick because my brain is completely fried and the rest of me is equally as exhausted. Gavin's labs came back today and some of the results appear to be very concerning. The reason I say appear to be concerning is because I'm not a doctor and I have only a basic understanding of how to read this. There are several areas that are concerning to me. Gavin's IgG level is 358 and the normal range is 578 to 1228. His IgM level is 20 and the normal range is 23 to 166. Gavin's IgA level is 24 and the normal range is 59 to 337. On the surface this looks bad, especially considering he had his IVIG infusion less than 24 hours before his labs…

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August 27, 2020

Akron Children's Hospital / My thoughts / Pediatrics / Vaccines

We had to break quarantine for the first time in 173 days

I'm absolutely exhausted but I wanted to share a quick update and then go into more detail later on if need be. We wore our KN95 masks and broke quarantine today for the first time in 173 days. That means we came into direct, sustained contact with other people for the first time since this all began. The reason for this was vaccines. Elliott and Emmett each needed a vaccine. Elliott needed his MMR booster and Emmett started his HPV. Elliott had his MMR delayed for health reasons when he was little and he needed to get caught up. Gavin needed labwork and all four of us needed flu shots. We visited Akron Children's Hospital for the boys vaccines and Rite Aid for our flu shots. I wanted to make…

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August 26, 2020

Confessions / My thoughts

A huge thank you and a birthday confession

Today has been a total roller coaster ride. I turned 42 years old today and it was a rough birthday for a million reasons. The last few days have been particularly difficult for me. The other night I had a very vivid dream. It was basically that my family was whole and that my marriage never imploded. It was just everyday life things. Kids went to school, I worked and we did all the normal things we used to do. It felt so real and it was one of those dreams where it's like you wake up in your dream and think you're actually awake. It's really weird. Anyway, it was such a good feeling and it honestly felt like all of this last year had just been a bad…

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August 25, 2020

Confessions / Depression Management / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Focusing on the positive helps me remember that #depression is lying to me

I'm very much in a darker place right now but I'm also refusing to give into depression. Fighting depression is an imperfect, uphill battle that's part of an invisible overarching war that I've been engaged in for most of my life. Part of my battle tactic is to force myself to focus on the positive things in my life. Depression tells me there's nothing positive but I know that's not true. There are three amazing little humans in my life and that's the most positive thing I can imagine. I'm going to share some pretty cool things my kids did today. Gavin's life is challenging for him but this kid never fucking gives up. This morning he was up before everyone else, which is normal for him. He focused on…

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August 24, 2020

Confessions / Depression Management / My thoughts

I can’t shake the #depression today

I can't really explain why but I'm struggling today. I'm feeling defeated and demoralized. Nothing happened outside of really bad dreams last night. Honestly, I think it's probably just a new battle with depression. By new I just mean a resurgence. There's a great deal of stress in my life right now and I'm getting overwhelmed by it all. I'm turning 42 years old on the 24th of August and I wish things in my life were different. I live in a bad neighborhood that I can't seem to get us out of. In 12 days, it would have been my 17th anniversary but instead, I find myself alone with my kids, as we try to survive a global pandemic. My kids are amazing and I love them completely. At…

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August 23, 2020

COVID19 / Distance Learning / Lockdown / My thoughts / Planning / School

We persevered this week

It's been a crazy stressful week but I'm so proud of how we persevered. The boys ultimately made it through their first week of distance learning and even exceeded their hours for the week. Their experience has been improving and while Elliott is still having technical issues, Emmett seems to be experiencing fewer. For the most part, we tried keeping to their previous school schedule but it didn't always work. What I've found was that giving the boys a little freedom over how their day is managed, seems to motivate them. Obviously, I can't let them loose but if they start at 10am instead of 9am, who cares. As long as they complete their work, that's all that matters. One of the coolest things about distance learning is that if…

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August 22, 2020