My thoughts Archives - Page 50 of 1481

Here’s what happened this past week

It's been a couple of days and the truth is, I'm just overwhelmed right now. The kids are a handful lately and after almost 270 days of our avoiding COVID journey, I think that is to be expected. Just because it's expected or understandable, doesn't mean it's easy. We had a relatively quiet Thanksgiving and ended up ordering Denny's via Doordash. We had cooked a turkey a few days prior and the kids wanted breakfast from Denny's. I figured, why the hell not.. That was pretty much the bulk of our week. I think we went for one hike and that was about it (pictures below). The battery in the car went bad and I had to get it replaced. I also had to do that while preserving as much…

6 Comments

November 29, 2020

Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Helping my son learn to forgive

I had a very challenging morning with my youngest. He's a ball of rage and pain and fear and anger. He got into it with his brothers this morning and just exploded. This isn't who he is but rather how he reacts to all the feelings he keeps locked inside. Yes, Mightier helps him manage these emotions much better but there are things he needs to learn that it doesn't teach. The overall theme to his struggles is loss. He's struggling to deal with a tremendous amount of loss. He's lost all three of his remaining great grandparents, his mother moved out, an aunt died, and an uncle passed away as well. He's lost multiple family pets to cancer and all of this loss took place over the last year…

1 Comment

November 26, 2020

My thoughts

It’s Monday for anyone losing track of the days

Generally speaking, Monday and I don't get along. We've been doing this same song and dance for my entire adult life. I feel like Monday tends to shit all over me and that sucks. Typically, I don't even bring it up because Monday will simply reply with fuck you, I missed a spot. It's been a pretty rough morning and I doubt that surprises anyone. Both boys aren't feeling well. I called the school and said I was giving Emmett a late start to see if he'd feelnbeeter enough to make it the rest of the day. He made it through his second class and couldn't go any further. Elliott wasn't feeling well either but he was able to push through his morning classes. Gavin's currently receiving his IVIG Infusion…

1 Comment

November 23, 2020

My thoughts

Fingers crossed that I sleep tonight

You know what? It's actually been a pretty good day. Obviously, it wasn't perfect or stress free but I don't think those days even exist. I feel like we made some progress around the house and for the most part, the kids got along with each other. I'm always grateful for that and it helps to maintain a positive tone for the day. It's amazing how something so simple can change the demeanor in the house. I didn't get a whole lot of work done but I've written twice and that hasn't happened in forever. That's big for me and it's progress. This week I need to focus on finishing up episode 39 and before Wednesday. That should be relatively easy, assuming the boys let me have the time needed…

0 Comments

November 22, 2020

My thoughts

It’s 2:40 am and I’m too stressed to sleep

It's been a rough day in our house. My tank is pretty much on empty and the kids have been such a handful lately. I'm exhausted and coming up short in the patience department. Currently, it's almost 3am and I still can't fall asleep because it's been such a stressful day. I can't seem to shut my brain off. The kids have been at each other's throats all day. Emmett and Gavin were fighting and I was done with it. I sent them downstairs to call their mom and have her help them resolve whatever they were fighting over. It didn't end well and made things infinitely worse but Lizze did what she could from a distance. The kids needed a physical intervention and that of course, can't be done…

2 Comments

November 22, 2020

My thoughts

I’m trying to have a better day today

I'm feeling a little better after a halfway decent night's sleep. Emmett had a nightmare and burst into my room in the middle of the night. Once he glued himself to my arm, sleep went out the window. So far, my day is off to a good start. The house is relatively quiet and I'm watching the news for a little while. The boys and I went out for a short hike before dark yesterday. I mentioned that in the previous post. I know it was a more difficult one to read but trust me, it sucked equally as bad actually living it. What I wanted to do was pick things up a bit and share some of the pics from yesterday's nature outing. I really try to be positive…

5 Comments

November 20, 2020

My thoughts

I’ve had a horrible day and I’m so over 2020

Today has been straight up, one of the most horrible days I've had in a long time. I'm so overwhelmed and feel like I'm drowning. Sometimes I feel like I'm totally broken and just can't put myself back together. I try so hard to be the best father I can be. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and that should be painfully obvious by now. If it's not, I don't know what to tell you. From a distance, it may look to other people in my situation, that I've got it all together but I promise I don't. There's never really been a time in my life that I haven't been able to rise the occasion. I may not always succeed but I'll be damned if I…

2 Comments

November 19, 2020

Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

That’s what makes you awesome

I don't know if you're new here or not but in case you are, you should know that I see a therapist every Wednesday. I feel like it's important to share that because there's too much stigma surrounding therapy. My therapist is awesome and she's helping me to deal with everything I've been through. I feel like I'm doing okay. I've moved on from my marriage ending and I no longer carry that pain around. Therapy has really helped with that. Unfortunately, some things can't be learned in therapy and are only learned through life experience. I've not written like this in a long time but I just feel like I need to dig down and put my thoughts into words. There's a lot of stress associated with being an…

1 Comment

November 19, 2020