My thoughts Archives - Page 353 of 1480

It’s heartbreaking

This morning begins the new routine of blood work every single day. I'm not sure about Sunday's because the lab is closed. Either way, Gavin's now facing at least ten needle sticks a week. When I explained to Gavin last night, about the need to daily bloodwork, he broke down and cried. I didn't go into details about why it was necessary because he wouldn't have understood anyway. What I told him was that the doctor needs to keep an eye on some things in your blood. All he heard from that whole conversation was that he was getting blood work every day. The poor kid is terrified, and I hate having to put him through this. At the second time, the alternative just isn't okay. What would be nice…

2 Comments

August 3, 2017

Autism Parenting Woes / My thoughts

I’m not handling things well

I'm so out of sorts right now. I'm scared to death about what's going to happen to Gavin. It's probably safe to say that I'm not handling it well at the moment. I've got so much nervous energy, I can't stop my leg from bouncing up and down on the floor. I ended up jumping down Lizze's throat, over something that was stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so on edge, that I'm simply have no patience. I feel sick to my stomach and I keep closing my eyes, hoping that when I open them, this would all have been a dream.

0 Comments

August 2, 2017

Gavin / My thoughts / Thoughts and Prayers

We received more bad news today about our son

I'm keeping this super short because I feel sick to my stomach. I need to share that we received Gavin's lab results back this evening, and unfortunately it's not good news. Gavin's numbers across the board have dropped since yesterday. His Neutrophil level has dropped from 2.8 last month, 2.0 yesterday, and 1.8 today. His actual WBC was 3.8 yesterday and today it was 3.2 (I'm pretty sure that what they said.) After speaking with his doctor, Gavin will continue with the Clozapine for now, but needs blood work every single day. That's got Gavin really stressed out, and I don't blame him. I'm barely holding it together myself and it's not actually happening to me. As I understand it, if or when he hits 1.5, we pull the plug…

2 Comments

August 2, 2017

Blessings / My thoughts

A couple reasons I’m feeling blessed

We have a lot going on right now. At the time of publication, we still haven't received the results from Gavin's labs drawn a few hours ago. I'm on edge and feeling like I'm losing my mind. Inside all the chaos, fear, worry, and heartbreak, I'm managing to focus on the blessings. Right now I just want to share how blessed we are to have such supportive families. I'll only speak to our parents because they are the most actively involved and deserve to be singled out. Both Lizze and I have very, very supportive parents. There's rarely a time that we've not been able to call them at the last minute to watch the boys when something comes up. Between our parents, we are able to get breaks from…

0 Comments

August 2, 2017

Emmett John / My thoughts

My little shelf straightener

Emmett and I made a quick trip to the grocery store. Ever since he was little, he would stop as he was going down the aisle, and straighten up the shelves. He's even put things back where they belonged. At that point in time, Monk was still on TV. Emmett reminded me so much of Adrian Monk, and that's a compliment because I loved that show. I took this picture yesterday. My little Monk still has it. ☺

0 Comments

August 2, 2017

My thoughts

Hurry up and wait

We just got back from having Gavin's bloodwork redone. It's gonna take a few hours before we hear anything back. I can't explain how long the next few hours are going to be. One of the things we've had to learn over the years, is how to hurry up and wait. I'm so nervous and I just want to know what's going on.

0 Comments

August 2, 2017

Gavin / General Update / My thoughts

Could this be a medical crisis?

I wanted to update you on what I learned from Gavin's prescribing psychiatrist. They are going to get the refill pushed through to address the immediate issues of Gavin falling off the Clozapine and never again being able to use it again. They want his labs redrawn and rerun first thing in the morning. Before we know what to do next, we need to rule out a lab error. This is why we're continuing with the Clozapine at this point. If we stop the Clozapine and it turns out to be a lab error, Gavin will likely love life as an unmedicated schizophrenic. There aren't any other antipsychotics that would be considered safe for him, at least as of right now. If the numbers prove to be correct and his…

4 Comments

August 2, 2017

Autism Parenting Woes / My thoughts

I’m not coping so well this morning

The boys are obsessed with Pokémon Go. I normally don't mind because it gets them outside and moving around. This morning however, I'm not coping with life as well as I could be, and Pokémon Go is driving me crazy. It's all the boys are talking about and I can't escape it. We're currently waiting for Gavin to get his bloodwork done, so we're all locked in the car together. I wish I could just tune it out like I normally do, but I'm unable to this morning. The boys aren't doing anything wrong, they're just being themselves. Don't get me wrong, I love who they are, but I don't have to love Pokémon Go. Does you child with Autism obsessively talk about one subject? Does it drive you crazy?…

1 Comment

August 1, 2017