Things are working out this morning

All signs point to being able to walk at the park today. I'm super excited to be able to do that. It's freakishly warm out and is perfect for walking. We've already finished two of the three appointments we have this morning and are currently waiting for the third to be done with. I want to get back into walking at least a few days a week and I'm can't wait to get started.

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I love him but he’s driving me crazy

We're off to a good start this morning. The only downside is that the boys school clothes didn't dry overnight but we still have time. Gavin is really off this morning and I'm not sure what's going on with him. He's ready to go get his bloodwork done but I'm having to remind him to eat breakfast. If you know anything about Gavin is that he's extremely food motivated and never has to be reminded to eat. I need him to eat now because we won't be home again until lunchtime. I'm not in the mood to listen to him complain about being hungry, simply because he didn't eat breakfast. This is so weird because Gavin is very ridged and has to eat at certain times or he doesn't know…

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I’m tired of being this way

I'm going to be quite busy this morning. The boys have to get to school, Gavin has to get his bloodwork done, and Lizze has two appointments to get to. All of this is before lunch time. My goal this week is to get my weightloss and return to wellness back on track. Honestly, I've never recovered from the holiday's and I desperately need to get back on track. Exercise is a critical part of managing my depression without medication and I fully intend on making this work. I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of being so easily winded. I'm tired of not being happy with the current condition my body is in. I used to body build and I've fallen so far from that. I don't want that…

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He’s 18 years old on the outside but not on the inside

Gavin's having a rough time today. He's eighteen years old now but can't be treated or managed like a typical, freshly minted adult. Unfortunately, Gavin's cognitive ability is significantly lower than his chronological age. Until we have his new NeuroPsych testing done this summer, we won't know exactly how much he's regressed since the last time he was tested, but his doctors have pinned his emotional age at around eight or nine years of age. That's a ten year difference between his developmental age and his chronological age. As he gets older, it becomes more and more obvious that he is struggling. Today he was taking out the recycling (supervised of course) and his lack of ability to problem solve was on full display. We have recycling collected in a…

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Why it’s important for special needs parents to find something positive in each day

When you're a special needs parent, it's quite common to feel overwhelmed. If you did a keyword search in this blog, you'd find countless times I've used the word overwhelmed to describe how I'm feeling. Being overwhelmed isn't something that's easy to deal with because of its very nature. When I'm overwhelmed, I sorta feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of all that's going on in my life. In that moment, I'm unable to carry the weight and no longer able to even process anything. It's kinda like a computer bogging down because it's doing too much at one time. During these moments, it's not uncommon to feel a sense of dread or dispair. It's important that you not give into these feelings. It's hard for people to…

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Do you ever feel like life has just kicked your ass?

It's been a long weekend and it's still not over yet cause there's no school today. There's not been anything catastrophic that's happened in the last few days but I feel like I had my ass kicked up one side of the road and down the other. Truthfully, Lizze and I are both on edge but there isn't one single thing that's responsible for our stress. It's a combination of things and it creates tension between us that we don't even realize is there until we have a disagreement. It's nothing major or even worth mentioning other than to illustrate how stress impacts us both. I know Gavin is wearing on me but so is everyday life. I'm absolutely exhausted, overwhelmed and truly feeling like life is kicking my ass.…

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I desperately need a nap

I’m going to be straight with you guys because the only way I can help is to be honest and transparent. With that being said, Gavin’s driving me crazy. He’s requiring more and more effort as time goes on. I know that sounds bad but let me explain.

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Feeling guilty because I’m frustrated with my Special Needs son

Today was full of ups and downs. If you know anything about being a special needs parent, you're likely aware that it's often a roller-coaster of emotions. Frankly, this is one of the reasons life is so hard because the ride never stops. Elliott and Emmett have been Elliott and Emmett all weekend. They're exhausting but we've managed thus far. When it comes to Gavin, that's a different story. He's really struggling and it's painfully apparent that life is not cutting him any slack. I'm going to be straight with you guys because the only way I can help is to be honest and transparent. With that being said, Gavin's driving me crazy. He's requiring more and more effort as time goes on. I know that sounds bad but let…

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