My thoughts Archives - Page 193 of 1480

The heartbreaking reality of how trauma has seriously impacted one of my kids with #Autism

I've been meaning to write this but the idea of doing so has been too overwhelming. There are a number of reasons for that but the main one is that I'm struggling with my own depression at this point and many things have me overwhelmed. I'm going to try and keep this super quick so I can actually finish it. Elliott finally got into psychiatry at Akron Children's Hospital this past week. We'd been waiting for a very long time for an opening because child psychiatrists are nearly impossible to find in our area, especially good ones. We ended up meeting with a nurse practitioner. Turns out we already knew him because he used to work with Dr. Reynolds, Gavin's longtime psychiatrist. That was very comforting, although we'd never spoken…

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October 14, 2018

Gavin / My thoughts

A major update on the mass in Gavin’s forearm

Real quick, I wanted to share a bit of good news. We heard back from the doctor today in regards to the mass in his forearm. The doctor sent us a message via My Chart and explained the results of the ultrasound. She said it appears that the mass consists of fatty tissue. This is good news. ☺ We are supposed to monitor it for any shape or size changes and let her know if it ever becomes painful. I did ask her a question about whether or not it was pressing against the vein and if so, should we be worried about that? Maybe I misunderstood what I saw in the ultrasound. Either way, it's good news that it's apparently a fatty cyst or mass and nothing that we…

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October 14, 2018

My thoughts / Self-Care / Weight-loss Journey

#Selfcare is a journey but it’s worth the effort

I know it's not Wednesday but I forgot to share this because of all that has gone on this week.. Truthfully, I forget to share on most Wednesdays. ☺ Anyway, as you know, I've been working on weight loss this year. I had unfortunately, reached 340 lbs during the early parts of 2018. It was a low point in my life and I knew that I had to do something. My family needs me and I can't let them down by letting myself go. This weeks weigh-in has me even closer to my first major milestone. I very much want to be under 300 lbs before the end of the year. As of today, I'm less than a pound away. ☺ I want to end 2018 on a high note.…

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October 13, 2018

My thoughts

I feel like I’m drowning

I'm not in the best place tonight. Everything that's going on around me is slowly but surely wearing me down and burning me out. Life can be difficult to cope with sometimes and depression doesn't help matters at all. I can get stuck in a cycle of repetitive thinking and typically, that means I can't stop thinking about one of my fears. The thoughts just swirl endlessly around in my head, slowly driving me crazy and jacking up my anxiety to crazy high levels. It truly wears me down and until I get out of this funk, it will continue to do so. The weird part is that I know why I'm worrying and I know it's not rational but it doesn't make me feel any better. 😔 I really,…

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October 12, 2018

Autism Parenting Insight / Gavin / My thoughts

An example of how repetition helps Gavin learn or maintain skills

It's been a difficult day because Gavin is definitely struggling but it's sort of a mixed bag. I'll give you an example. I mentioned to him last night that he needs to shave because if he's going to grow facial hair, he needs to maintain it. His goatee comes in pretty nice but the rest doesn't. If he doesn't shave the rest of his face and neck, it honestly looks like that episode of South Park where Cartman glued someone's pubes to his face in order to look like he had a beard. After his IVIG Infusion, Gavin remembered that he needed to shave. I give him major props for that because even remembering is a big deal for him. ☺ He decided to completely shave off his goatee and…

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October 12, 2018

Gavin / My thoughts

Gavin’s been freaking out all morning

We have nothing on the schedule for today, aside from the activities that happen every Friday. The kids have school, and Gavin has his IVIG Infusion. Everyone is dragging this morning cause it's been a very emotionally dragging week. Gavin's already caused some unnecessary stress. He was washing some dishes and began screaming. I'm talking a blood curdling, my fingers have been cut off kinda scream. Lizze runs into the kitchen screaming for me cause Gavin sounded like he was in a seriously bad way and she wanted backup. Turns out he accidently sprayed the hose and the trigger got stuck. He got water on the floor and didn't know that simply turning the water off would solve the problem. That was it. A small amount of water on the…

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October 12, 2018

Cats / Cleo / Family Pets / Ferrets / Maggie / My thoughts / Zane

I need to clarify something so please give this a quick read

I wanted to take a minute and do two things. First, I want to thank you all for the love and support you've shown over the past few days. We all very much appreciate it. ☺ Secondly, I feel like I need to provide some clarification in regards to the pets we've lost over the last year. Some people have expressed concern the we've had 3 animals die in under a year and at least 2 of them were cancer related. There have been suggestions that we look into our environment to make sure there isn't a reason for them having cancer. I wanted to clarify a few things and hopefully, that will provide some context that you'd be missing if you haven't been following our story for long. In…

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October 12, 2018

Gavin / My thoughts

An update on the mass in Gavin’s forearm

I'm a fucking mess today. It's not one particular thing either. It's everything as a whole and it's stirring up my depression. I'm getting stuck in repeditive thinking and that's not a good thing for me. My anxiety is through the roof. Anyway, Gavin's appointment went well in the sense that he did well and the staff was amazing. I was able to see the mass on the screen as she scanned it with the ultrasound. I sketched a rough picture of one of the images I saw and it is a little worrisome. The mass is sitting right up against what I think is his cephalic vein. It appears to be a separate object and not a ballooning of the vessel wall itself. What I did see that has…

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October 11, 2018