A very difficult but necessary decision

Lizze and I have come to a very difficult but necessary decision over the weekend. In the morning, Gavin sees his psychiatrist. When we see him, Lizze and I are going to discuss pulling Gavin off of Clozapine. Why in the world would we want to take our Autistic and Schizophrenic 19 year old son off of the only antipsychotic that has ever worked? That's a great question. Put simply, Lizze and I are very concerned about Gavin's ever increasing level of confusion, especially in the first 5 or 6 hours following his morning dose. He's been on Clozapine for a very long time but in recent years, we've had to decrease his dose because his body wasn't handling it as well as it once had. We've run into things…

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It’s been a long weekend

We had a really long day yesterday but it was a pretty good one. I took the boys walking in the morning and everyone had a great time. We saw the lonely duck and for the second time, it flew from across the park, landed a few feet from us and walked right up to Emmett. This duck seems to have a thing for Emmett because the last time I had Emmett walking with me, it made a beeline from across the other side of the park, crossing the creek, hopping out and waddling right up to Emmett. It's a pretty unique experience and one that Emmett's getting a big kick out of. After the park, we made it home in time to get cleaned up, pick up Lizze and…

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Supporting #Autistic Artists with Harish Bikmal

I'm really excited about this weeks episode of The Autism Dad Podcast. I interview Harish Bikmal (an Autism Dad) about his Social Benefit Enterprise called Zenaviv and how they are helping Autistic artists. This is some very cool stuff and I really wanted to bring this to my audience as a whole because so many of you could potentially benefit from this.  In a nutshell, Zenaviv embraces and promotes artists with Autism or other special needs. They bring their amazing talents to the public and help the artist earn a living. Each artist retains at least 66% of each sale and retains all rights to their work, as well as the original art itself.  Lizze and I were sent some samples of what these amazingly talented artists are producing and…

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Emmett set the bar for bravery incredibly high today

It's been a really long day but it's also been a pretty good one as well. Emmett's dentist appointment went well and he kicked ass. They fixed his tooth and he didn't even need numbed up. I think it took a total of 5 minutes. He was nervous but very brave and I couldn't be prouder. ☺ This means that the bar is set pretty high in the bravery department and it's gonna be tough for me to live up to that next week when I have my wisdom teeth removed. I'm absolutely terrified of having this done but I need to set an example and preferably, a positive one. ☺ I also was able to spend some one on one time with Emmett today. I took him to lunch…

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Writing with tear filled eyes

Gavin's having a very rough day. On a good day, he's not running on all cylinders but anymore, it seems like his engine is barely turning over. He's not problem-solving anything lately. I have a really good example of this and it took place yesterday around lunchtime. While Gavin was making his lunch, he stopped, walked into the living room and asked if he could have a chicken patty for lunch. The answer of course was yes. He came back a minute later to ask how long he should put it in the air fryer for. He wanted it in there for 15 minutes, which is way, way too long. He should know the answer to this because he's done it plenty of times. I asked him why he didn't…

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A meltdown inducing dentist appointment today

We have an exciting day planned and by exciting I mean not fun at all. Mr. Emmett is returning to the dentist this afternoon because he has a baby tooth that needs fixed. When he was at the dentist a month ago, we discovered that he had the start of a cavity on the front of the tooth that had been in contact with his metal cap. The cap had left a mark on the tooth in question and the dentist wants to fix it before it can become a problem. It's minor enough that he shouldn't need to be numbed up or anything like that. I know it's a baby tooth but that tooth is not ready to come out and we don't want there to be any problems.…

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Gavin is losing skills and it’s heartbreaking

We've come to the realization that Gavin's level of regression has reached a new low. This has actually been coming for a little while now but we've had to pull some responsibilities away from him today. For the last couple of years, Gavin has been doing the dishes. I don't know what it is about doing the dishes that he likes but he was very much into it. Unfortunately, that time has come to an end because he's simply unable to wash the dishes anymore. We've been needing to either have him redo some of what he's done incorrectly or go back and do it ourselves. It's unfortunate but it doesn't make sense to do them twice, just so Gavin feels like he's helping, Lizze and I are taking that…

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Sometimes I struggle with feelings of being a terrible parent but not tonight

I really struggle with feelings of being a terrible parent. I feel this way for a number of reasons but one of the biggest reasons revolves around failing to give my kids a better life. I know there's only so much I can do but I still feel like I'm failing them. Anyway, I decided to get them out of the house yesterday. Our house is so small. And they have nowhere to play. It breaks my heart to see them try have fun but end up getting frustrated. Honestly it feels pretty shitty. I'm very preoccupied but I wanted to stop what I was doing and give them my undivided attention. Lizze was sick and whatever I did, I would have to go it alone. After talking to the…

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