I should follow up by saying this letter was written about 2 years ago. The adoption was successful about 1 1/2 years ago. However, even after the adoption the grandmother still came after us. In Dec 2009 the fifth district court of appeals ruled that our rights (including Gavin's) had been grossly violated and that the court (in the small town that bio dad and grandmother lived in) has abused its power. This finally put in end to everything. Nine years of begging and pleading for someone to listen to us and to the doctors. Nine years of screaming to deaf ears that Gavin was being abused. We knew it and the doctors knew it. Nine years we will never get back. Lizze and I have never known each other…

I thought I would post this.  This is the letter I wrote  to the judge about Gavin's adoption.  I know the content of this blog is not uplifting very often so I thought I would share this letter I wrote to the judge. Things weren't always this bad. I often return to this letter to help me put things into perspective.........  I removed any identifying information....... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does it mean to be a father? I have been asked the question, Why do I want to adopt Gavin? This should be very simple to answer but it is not.  There is so much going on in our lives that I do not really know how to answer this question anymore.  In truth I have been working on this letter for quite some…

Gavin got up this morning and went to use the bathroom. We make him sit because it's safer for everyone :) Well this morning for some reason he refuses to tell us he stood up while he was peeing. So he peed all over and our bathroom is carpeted (horrible idea but we didn't do it).So we wanted to find out what happened. He refused to tell us. We realized he could be embarrassed so we where very careful talking to him. His refusal to talk to us tells us that he was doing something he wasn't supposed to do. He has been throwing a fit for about an hour now. The kicker us he was never in trouble until he started melting down. I wish we had a better…

This day has gone on forever. It was crappy to start with and it ended crappy. All three of the kids are sick, Elliott Richard and Emmett John have puked at least 2 times each today. Gavin is being weird even for Gavin. This doesn't make me feel good about the upcoming weekend. Lizze and I are both stressed to the max. We are both grouchy and irritable. Not a good combination right now. I hate the tension in this house. Something has got to give and give soon. I don't know how much more we can go through. We are both at our breaking point. We are both tired of waiting for Emmett John's ABR test that's scheduled for this Monday. The past 3 months wait has been killing…

Well after our fun at the doctors the other day we found ourselves back there again. This time it was Elliott Richard (again) and Gavin. Elliott Richard's respiratory infection has gotten to the point that he is puking from all the coughing. Gavin just has the same nasty cough. Elliott Richard's antibiotics we changed to something stronger. Gavin is on the the same antibiotic as Emmett John. No sooner does Lizze get home from the doctors then Emmett John just pukes all over the kitchen floor. I can see this is going to be a fun night. Lost and Tired

 I just put up our video camera on ebay to help generate some funds.  If you are interested or know someone who might be check our my ebay auction.  If not well that's cool to. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200454571997 Thanks Lost and Tired

We received a call from Gavin's doctor tonight. The blood work came back and we have to raise Gavin's depakote again. He now takes 1000mg in the am and 500mg in the pm. This doubles his morning dose. We go back in a week for blood work and medication tweaking. I'm pretty sure we are getting close to the ceiling on this med. I would just like to thank puberty for screwing with his already complicated body chemistry.... t took us years to find this combination of meds that worked. Now we may have to start over because I don't believe we can go much higher.  Looks like we may need t get back on the medication rollercoaster. Lost and Tired Lost and Tired

Gavin had an interesting day. By interesting I mean bad. I am becoming more frustrated with Gavin's school situation as a whole. We get a summary of his day, every day. They use moon's as the behavior grading system. Full moon is great and new moon is bad. So when we ask Gavin how his day was he says "8 full moons" as an example. We have been struggling with this because it doesn't appear to be very accurate. Gavin was sent to the principles office again today (this has become a daily occurrence) because he was out of control. He missed all of reading class because of his behavior. He received a 3/4 moon for a class he didn't even attend. Are they grading on a curve? On what…