As the day is wearing on reality is setting in. We most likely have 2 autistic children. How does that even happen? We're barely surviving Gavin how are we going to have what Emmett John needs? How are we going to have what Elliott Richard needs? Will Elliott Richard ever have a "normal" life? Does there ever come a point where we have been given enough challenges in life? They say that God never gives you more then you can handle. I sometimes think that's ridiculous. I think people say that because they don't know what else to say. The truth is that we were crumbling under the pressure before. How do we maintain anything now. No one understands Gavin now and I know where that has gotten us. Will…

Lizze and I are still shocked at the test results today. I don't know that we have even begun to process anything. Emmett John's hearing is perfect but he doesn't talk and he doesn't respond to noise. He is going to see the pediatric neurologist as soon as he can get in to rule out whatever else it could be. What they told us is that the most likely cause is autism. We have to keep talking to him and using words and they said it may just click one day. Now we will probably be going through the autism clinic at the children's hospital to if/where he falls on the spectrum. I honestly don't know if this is better or worse then being hearing impaired. Either way has its…

Well as you know Emmett John was at the Children's Hospital this morning. What you don't know is that I got the flu last night. I had to stay behind. This was to important to reschedule. Lizze called her mother and she came and took her and Emmett John to the Hospital for the tests. I just heard back from Lizze and they said Emmett John's hearing is perfect. Lizze asked why he doesn't respond to us talking to him? They said because they think he is autistic. They said he doesn't make good eye contact at all and the speech delay is typical. Right now thats all I know. LT

As you may or may not be aware Emmett John has an appt. at the Children's Hospital in the morning. It appears that Emmett John is profoundly deaf. He has been to the audiologist and failed the test. Although he wouldn't let her but anything in his ears. He didn't respond in any, way, shape or form to ANY of the test they did complete. She said he can't hear anything 45db of lower (human voice) and most likely couldn't hear anything below 65db. She said he was at least moderately hearing impaired but probably profoundly deaf. However, because he wouldn't go along with the rest of the testing she couldn't say for sure. In the morning he is scheduled for an ABR test. He will be sedated and they…

Today has been a really long day. We had our ups and downs. Gavin really struggled today. He had earned himself oatmeal for lunch. He had also earned it for dinner for throwing another massive meltdown and choosing not to get control of himself. He did very good during quiet time and never snuck out of his room. He didn't ask to come down a million times either. I told Lizze that he did so well I felt he had earned a reprieve with dinner. After dinner was a different story. He really pushed the limits. I think he took the removal of oatmeal for dinner as get out of jail free card. But today could have been worse. Everyone is sick but me. Lizze came down with it this…

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I should follow up by saying this letter was written about 2 years ago. The adoption was successful about 1 1/2 years ago. However, even after the adoption the grandmother still came after us. In Dec 2009 the fifth district court of appeals ruled that our rights (including Gavin's) had been grossly violated and that the court (in the small town that bio dad and grandmother lived in) has abused its power. This finally put in end to everything. Nine years of begging and pleading for someone to listen to us and to the doctors. Nine years of screaming to deaf ears that Gavin was being abused. We knew it and the doctors knew it. Nine years we will never get back. Lizze and I have never known each other…

I thought I would post this.  This is the letter I wrote  to the judge about Gavin's adoption.  I know the content of this blog is not uplifting very often so I thought I would share this letter I wrote to the judge. Things weren't always this bad. I often return to this letter to help me put things into perspective.........  I removed any identifying information....... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does it mean to be a father? I have been asked the question, Why do I want to adopt Gavin? This should be very simple to answer but it is not.  There is so much going on in our lives that I do not really know how to answer this question anymore.  In truth I have been working on this letter for quite some…