Sorry for the dreary posts today but it has been an especially bad day. Gavin is driving me absolutely out of my mind. We need to get him stabilized ASAP. Emmett John is going through something. I wish I knew what it was so I could help him better. He is becoming so destructive. He gets angry for whatever reason and he lashes out. He knocks things over and throws what ever he can. He absolutely targets Elliott Richard. He hits him with blocks, cars and other toys. We stop him and try to tell him he can't do that but he's 22 months old and doesn't understand. He screams alot of the time. It's like he's a bat and uses the high-pitched screeches to navigate with. We have somewhat learned…

I have decided that I wish my kids came with a mute button. They have been screaming ALL day long. I swear it's like they have developed their own language and it's based on screaming. So I decided I need a mute button. You can buy those universal remote control's that cost a few hundred dollars. They are supposed to control everything under the sun. I thought I would check one out but guess what no mute button for the kids. I'm not going to give up on this. I will continue my search for a mute button. In the event you find one before I do can you please let me know. Assuming I have any sanity left to salvage I'm going to need to get 3 of them.…

The "Help Me Grow" people are coming out again today to continue Emmett John's evaluation. The more time that goes by the it looks like Emmett John will not escape the diagnosis. He doesn't talk yet. All he can do is grunt and squeal (very loud). He has become more aggressive towards Elliott Richard and Lizze. Emmett John hits Elliott Richard for no apparent reason. He also claws up Lizze's face actually breaking the skin. She has scratches in various stages of healing on her chin and cheeks. I don't know why he does any of this. I think maybe he is just frustrated because he can't communicate with us so he lashes out. I don't know why he targets those two only but it's getting old. Lizze and I…

Gavin is really off again this morning. He goes around the mumbling to himself. Then out of no where he asks us a question about something he's he been mumbling about. Unfortunately, we haven't a clue what he's talking about so he gets frustrated with us. Most of his coherent conversations with us revolve around food. He is obsessed with eating. He thinks he's starving all the time. The reality is that Gavin cannot regulate himself so he will eat until he pukes. So we have to be very careful with what he eats and how much he eats. We don't want him to develop an eating disorder because his doctors are concerned about that. So far not a great start to the day. LT

Gavin has just been impossible today. I'm pretty sure he's doing some (at the very least) on purpose. I had him take a shower. I reminded him that he needs to wash his hair and then "rinse" it about 3 times while I was setting up the shower. I also told him to was his body and "rinse" it about 3 times as well. Then I reminded him again that he needs to "dry" his body and hair prior to getting dressed. Gavin exits the shower and his clothes are sticking to him and his hair is dripping wet. I made him go back 2 times to dry his hair and body. Then we come to realize that he never rinsed his hair. He's also begun targeting Lizze when I…

As a parent to very complicated special needs child maintaining medications seems to be one of the biggest challenges we face. Gavin is 10 years old and already going through puberty. This is rough enough for a typical kid. Gavin is much, much worse. All of his meds are no longer working. His bipolar symptoms are completely out of control. He goes between manic and more manic. Everyone is suffering through this right along with him. We are dealing with mood swings and extreme "think to breathe" syndrome. We have almost no idea what he's saying anymore. You just get this creepy vibe right now. We have been walking the medication tight rope for many years but I fear we are in for a rude awakening with the dawn of…

New article up at the examiner. Great read: http://tinyurl.com/3x3dszv

While this is really a direct response to my wife's post earlier (see below) it applies to most of us. Lizze, I want to say a few things in response to your "Bad Mother" post. I want you to know that in almost every conceivable way I agree with what you had to say with one big exception. You feel like a bad mother, well I feel like a terrible father. The reality is that you are a great mother despite how you may feel sometimes. You give up everything for our kids. No one on this planet knows more then I do how much pain you push through everyday for our kids. Gavin has no idea what he's saying most of the time. He works kinda like a slip'n…