We have been trying to deal with quiet a bit. By far for me right now Emmett John is the toughest. I want so badly to be able to talk to him and know he understands. I want to know what he's thinking and feeling. He seems so angry and frustrated and there is very little if anything we can do to help him. To make things even worse Elliott Richard really takes the brunt of his frustrations on a daily basis. Neither one of them deserve this. There is nothing more heartbreaking then to watch your children suffer and not be able to do anything to make it better. Emmett John still doesn't talk so he really has no way to communicate with us or anyone for that matter.…

Gavin had a pretty decent morning today. We had a little trouble putting on clean clothes. He can't tell the difference between clean and dirty clothes. He wipes his nose all over his shirts. Even though it's painfully obvious to most that the shirt is dirty and should probably be burned he can't tell. Hopefully he will have an ok day today at school. The past few days have been good for him so here's to hoping. LT

This was Elliott Richard last night after I finished reading him stories. It makes me sad to know all the people that used to be in our lives will not see him grow up. The choices some people make are simply beyond me. LT

Emmett John finished his first evaluation yesterday. He completely failed the evaluation. That's not good. He is now being referred to a pediatric neurologist and from there to the autism clinic to try to pin point his location on the spectrum. The more questions we answer, the closer we get to an official diagnosis and the more painful this becomes. Now it's another tortuous waiting game. LT

Lizze has a migraine and is trying to sleep it off so she doesn't have to take anything for it. The kids, especially Emmett John right now, are driving me crazy. He is going around smashing everything he can. He has broken every remote control we own from throwing them. Elliott Richard is playing the "let's repeat everything multiple times and drive daddy crazy" game. He's actually quite good at it. Gavin will be home in about an hour and my stomach is already starting to knot up in anticipation. Hopefully everything will go smoothly the rest of the afternoon. LT

This was earlier tonight. I was giving Elliott Richard a bath before bed and Emmett John decided to jump in. Maggie was there to lick up as much bath water as possible (at least it's not the toilet). LT

Sorry for the dreary posts today but it has been an especially bad day. Gavin is driving me absolutely out of my mind. We need to get him stabilized ASAP. Emmett John is going through something. I wish I knew what it was so I could help him better. He is becoming so destructive. He gets angry for whatever reason and he lashes out. He knocks things over and throws what ever he can. He absolutely targets Elliott Richard. He hits him with blocks, cars and other toys. We stop him and try to tell him he can't do that but he's 22 months old and doesn't understand. He screams alot of the time. It's like he's a bat and uses the high-pitched screeches to navigate with. We have somewhat learned…