Gavin has been acting very strange lately. We had him to Dr. R this week and we decided that he is over medicated. Well at least we think so. We are going to drop down on the zyprexa and leaving the depakote alone. This is the last ditch effort to avoid lithium. He's back to not sleeping again. Last night he was up till 1am. He walks around like he's a zombie. There's no life in him right now. He says he's fine but that cannot be true. I don't think he even knows what's going on. I'm not sure how much time we are going to give this before we pull the plug. The zyprexa made the voices go away. Now I think they may be coming back but…

Lizze has had a really rough day today. Emmett John tried to make mommy feel better. Very sweet...

I did it. I did what the Best Buy "Geek Squad" said was impossible. My sister Kate had all of her graduate work on a usb thumb drive. The drive went bad and she lost everything. She didn't want to bother us at first so she asked the Geek Squad. They said it couldn't be done. I got a good portion recovered. So I say to the over priced and under experienced Geek Squad "stick that in your pipe and smoke it". Score one for the little guy. LT

For the second time this week poor Elliott Richard has got his fingers slammed in the door. Today he was trying to keep Emmett John from sneaking into the bathroom. All he is doing is trying to look out for his little brother. Emmett John has no fear so we have to constantly follow him around. Elliott Richard feels he has to look out for him also because he loves him. Inevitably, Elliott Richard gets hurt in the process. He takes being a big brother very seriously. I just wish isn't wasn't so dangerous. LT

The kids are going to my parents tonight. They help us out even to their own detriment. I wish we had other family that could help them out but we don't fit nicely in many others lives so my family is really all we have left. Anyway, Lizze has an MRI in the morning to rule out a brain tumor as the cause of the debilitating migraines. They are also trying to find an causes for her neuronopathy. She also has tremors so they are looking for that cause also. She has never had an MRI of her brain before so this is a big (and nerve wrecking) day. We don't expect to find anything cause all her CAT Scans have been clean. However, this will serve as a baseline…

So I sent my invoices from our contracting company to Ryan Homes today cause they were due. In the email I also wanted to double check that they had received my auto insurance renewal cert.. They never received it. That's a little bit of a problem because now they have put a hold on our payments. Like the one we had been waiting for next week. My insurance company faxed it today but it's to late now. Everything has been delayed till May 22nd. This also makes payroll impossible. I'm going to try to get an exception on this but it probably won't happen. During the slow times I only have my brother working for me. So I was able to get his payroll covered (thanks to mom and dad)…

I'm not sure where this post is going to end up because I'm not in the greatest place at the moment but I need to purge. This is my disclaimer... My biggest fear for as long as I can remember has been the dentist. I mean to say that I'm terrified for the dentist. I can't even go with my kids to the dentist because I can't hide my fear. I had a tooth ripped out when I was a kid and it was re-implanted. I even had a one stick the pick thing though my cheek. The list goes on from there. This is coming from a big strong firefighter/paramedic. I went into burning house's and never thought anything of it. I have had really close calls during my…

I could live in these moments forever. Emmett John is peaceful and resting. I cherish moments like these... LT