I feel like we’re killing off the last part of his childhood

Spent a couple of hours with Gavin this afternoon. He had an appointment with his psychiatrist today for a medication follow up. This was in regards to his Clozapine specifically. This was an unexpected fucking emotional rollercoaster for Gavin today. Out of nowhere; he became distraught. When I asked him what was upsetting him, he explained that he's terrified that he's been put on Santa's naughty list because he's killed people while on missions. Super quick background If you're unaware, Gavin is schizophrenic along with everything else. His hallucinations revolve around going on dangerous missions to save the universe from evil. He has a team of superheroes that he leads. Along the way, there are times that he's had to kill evildoers. He was in the waiting room, physically sobbing…

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Why I get to the school an hour before dismissal

One of the reasons I like getting to school an hour early to pick up the boys is because I like the quiet. It's a great time to get some writing done without too much distraction. Another reason I like to arrive an hour early at the school, especially in warmer weather is because it gives me a chance to observe my kids playing outside with their peers. Sometimes it can be hard to pick up on social awkwardness because they're comfortable at home and we're used to everything about them. Sometimes it's just nice to see them playing with their classmates. Making friends can be tough for people with Autism and so it feels good to see them doing good in this area. We all want our kids to…

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Navigating the nursing home with my #Autistic kids isn’t easy

I wanted to share a special moment from the other day. As you may recall, we recently lost Lizze's grandmother, my grandfather and now my grandmother is in heart failure. She's moved into a nursing home about five minutes away. She's been there for a couple of months, and it's been a difficult transition for her. The positive is that she's now safe, well cared for and much closer. She used to live ninety minutes away, and that made it so hard to see her when especially with our car. Anyway, we try to visit her as close to every day as we can. It's a difficult journey with the kids because her memory is not very good anymore and the other day, it didn't seem like she remembered us.…

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Don’t let Monday defeat you

Just a quick note before I get my day underway. I hope you all have a great Monday. I know that Monday's can be rough, Lord knows mine usually are. Try to focus on the positives and also remember to celebrate the victories. Please be kind yourself and remember that self-care is an important part of being a caregiver. Don't let Monday defeat you and have a great day. 😀

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The reason my youngest is distressed is heartbreaking for me

There are times when I can distance myself from my feelings, focus on facts and remain objective. There are also times like tonight when I can't and emotions rule the roost. I've mentioned recently that Emmett, my youngest of three Autistic boys, is struggling lately. He's been the focus of recent family therapy sessions. Emmett is overwhelmed, frustrated and having a hard time coping with whatever's eating away at him. He's very reactionary, slow to open up and quick to anger. We've been trying to help him work through whatever this is but it's not going so well and he doesn't like to talk about it. I know that there are a few things bothering him and consuming his resources on a daily basis. There's probably more than that but…

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There’s never an in between

I mentioned earlier that Gavin appears to be more and more paranoid. Part of the concern is about his schizophrenic hallucinations and the direction they're currently heading in. He seems to be worried about bad guys watching him or something to that effect. That's not necessarily new, but we see it with more frequency lately. What's weird is his current obsession with his health. He's very focused on rather benign issues, and we've never seen him show any interest in his health before. He's continually coming to us with things like I just coughed, my nose is runny, I just had to blow my nose, my arm muscle just felt funny, there's saliva in my mouth, my toe hurt for a second, I sneezed twice, my knee cramped up, and…

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It’s been an unusual day

The day has gone by quickly for some reason. Lizze had an appointment this morning, and I had an interview with someone from the UK. I got my walking done and picked the kids up from school. Gavin has been mostly unseen today. He's dealing with a crisis in his world that has taken up most of his time today. Lizze and I are a bit concerned because Gavin is exhibiting signs of paranoia. He's talking about people in his worlds being out to get him, and he's also becoming very preoccupied with his health but in a weird way. I'll explain more about that later. Anyway, we've got one day left in the school week, and we're about three weeks out from the end of the school year. I'm…

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