All parents want the best for their kids. When it comes to special needs kids that can be a very different and very difficult pill to swallow. In my life I have 2 specials needs autistic kids. For this topic I want to discuss Gavin as Emmett John is to young and there isn't enough known about his condition to make any guesses. We want Gavin to have the best possible life (this is why we have to push so hard). Every parent wants to go to sports events and graduations. They want grandkids and to see their child find happiness. I our case with Gavin we will most likely never see any of those things with him. However, we do want him to live up to his potential. He…

Today has been a really rough. We got Emmett John to see his pediatrician today to follow up. Turns out the hospital missed quite a bit. This is what we learned. His nose is broken but doesn't require surgery at this point. The biggest thing was the bruising behind his ears. I heard that and got sick to my stomach. That is a sign of intracranial bleeding. He said he is concerned about major internal head injury. Dr. H said on a scale of 1-10 he is worried at about a 6. Emmett John is doing fine after 24 hours so most likely all will be fine. We have to watch him closely over the next few days. If we notice anything at all he goes straight to the ER.…

About to get Gavin from school. Praying he had a good day and is in a good mood. I can't take any drama right now. I still don't feel good and I have had all I can take and it's only Tuesday.

Today is the anniversary of Lizze's Mother's death. Her grandmother was the only true Mother figure she ever had until she met my family. Her grandmother was a little southern woman but protected Lizze from all the insanity that was her childhood with the fierceness of a mamma bear. I only knew her for a short time before she passed but it didn't take long to see how much she absolutely loved Lizze with the kind of unconditional love only a mother could have. She is dearly missed but I know she is watching over us. She would be so proud of what Lizze has done with her life.

Today has been one of the worst days in our history of bad days. Lizze and I are both  sick. Lizze is in the middle of a really bad fibro flare. Gavin is still struggling with the simplest of tasks. So the day just didn't start out well. Around maybe 1:30pm I was upstairs cleaning up after cutting the lawn when I heard a huge thump and Lizze screaming for me. Emmett John had fallen down the entire flight of steps. He fell forward and then end over end. He was hysterical. He had smashed his face and nose into the un-carpeted stairs over and over again on his way down.  His face is pretty banged up. I was a medic for 10 years and I knew there was a…

Emmett John is starting to go back to giving me a high five by putting his head in my hand. He is becoming more and more destructive. He lashes out at Elliott Richard for seemingly no reason at all. He's still waking up every night screaming hysterically. I'm completely lost anymore. It's such a helpless feeling when your child is hurt, scared or upset and you don't know which it is and what is causing it. This wait for early intervention and autism clinic is excruciating. I can tell you that I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I wish people understood just how all encompassing this is. Our whole life right now revolves around Emmett John and Gavin. Unless you have been in my shoes (like many of you have)…

I wanted today to be great for Lizze. However, today was exhausting. Par for the course though. Gavin has been a handful all day long. We went to my parents for mothers day. Not long after arriving Gavin tried to open mouth kiss my mother. She handled it really well and just put her glass up to her mouth. We yanked Gavin into another room and told him how that was wrong and just called "inappropriate kissing". Personally after that I was done and ready to go home. Everyone says it's no big deal but they don't realize just how big of a deal it actually is. I'm not sure what we are supposed to do. Gavin seems to be slipping still. For example, I cut his hair (shaved his…

Lizze, You have given us so much. I wanted to show you how amazing I know you are.  You are responsible for giving me my children. That is something I can never fully repay you for. Everyday you raise above all the pain you are in and you all that you have. You are a shining example of what a mother should be. Not only are you a mother but a special needs mother. I hope you realize how much the kids and I love you. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELCJcs1qsVY]