Emmett John is starting to go back to giving me a high five by putting his head in my hand. He is becoming more and more destructive. He lashes out at Elliott Richard for seemingly no reason at all. He's still waking up every night screaming hysterically. I'm completely lost anymore. It's such a helpless feeling when your child is hurt, scared or upset and you don't know which it is and what is causing it. This wait for early intervention and autism clinic is excruciating. I can tell you that I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I wish people understood just how all encompassing this is. Our whole life right now revolves around Emmett John and Gavin. Unless you have been in my shoes (like many of you have)…

I wanted today to be great for Lizze. However, today was exhausting. Par for the course though. Gavin has been a handful all day long. We went to my parents for mothers day. Not long after arriving Gavin tried to open mouth kiss my mother. She handled it really well and just put her glass up to her mouth. We yanked Gavin into another room and told him how that was wrong and just called "inappropriate kissing". Personally after that I was done and ready to go home. Everyone says it's no big deal but they don't realize just how big of a deal it actually is. I'm not sure what we are supposed to do. Gavin seems to be slipping still. For example, I cut his hair (shaved his…

Lizze, You have given us so much. I wanted to show you how amazing I know you are.  You are responsible for giving me my children. That is something I can never fully repay you for. Everyday you raise above all the pain you are in and you all that you have. You are a shining example of what a mother should be. Not only are you a mother but a special needs mother. I hope you realize how much the kids and I love you. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELCJcs1qsVY]

Casualties of war. That's what it sometimes feels like. One of the things people don't think about when it comes to autism is the marriages involved. Raising an autistic child (in our case most likely two) has such an impact on our lives as a whole. Everything gets put on hold in order to wage war on the disorder stealing two of our three children away. Priorities shift and you become tunnel visioned on that one thing you want more then anything, getting your child back. One of the big things that gets put on an indefinite hold is our marriage. There simply just isn't enough time and defiantly not enough help. It's a very painful reality to find yourself in. My wife and I are absolute best friends and…

I find my more and more lost with Emmett John and Gavin each day. Gavin is really struggling with simple every day type things. Gavin has "NO" common sense. That's not a slam on him it's just a fact. Things that would come automaticly to most don't come at all to Gavin. So we are having to work overtime to stay ahead of him in almost every area of his life. Gavin is trying to micro-manage everyone around him. He will only play his way. Elliott Richard is not allowed to use his imagination but Gavin is. All these things are causing tension to build in an already tense situation. My sister came today to take Elliott Richard to the park. Gavin was invited but we had to say no…

Lizze and I took Elliott Richard and Emmett John to the park to feed the ducks. They had a blast and so did we. Lizze was in a lot of pain after but I think she would say it was worth it. We then picked up Gavin from school and came home..... Pretty good day, all things considered. LT

Last night was another long night. Emmett John woke up about 3:30 am screaming again. We couldn't do much of anything to console him. I wish I knew what was going on. Lizze ended up taking him downstairs about 4:00 am.  She is upstairs now with him sleeping. These nights are killing us....

Gavin got off to school today in a great mood. He doesn't like to talk on the way to school all the time. What he was saying didn't make much sense. They were like strung together incoherent thoughts. When we got to school he got out of the car and ran to the door. Just watching him I realize we are loosing more of him again. I don't know how he didn't just fall over while running to the door. It's very clear the his body and brain are not in sync with each other. He has kind of like a "rag doll" appearance when he is moving. He's extremely limp and uncoordinated (and way more so then usual). I don't know what we are going to do. His doctors…